Thursday, April 1, 2010

"Bonfire Night with Bella!"

Looking at the new Eclipse stills that were released the other day, we oooh'ed over the Cullen Clan, ahh'ed over Edward's sideburns, and meh'ed at Bella's wig in that one picture. But we actually paused at the picture of Bella and Jacob. The still is obviously from the campfire scene, where Billy Black reveals the ancient legends of the Quileute tribe. As they sit around the fire, entranced by the tale, Bella can "see" the stories take place in her mind's eye. It's also the origin of Bella's martyr-complex in Eclipse, but that's another post.

It was a touching moment, where Bella really and truly understands the responsibility, the duty involved in being a member of the wolfpack.

It just reminded us of our high school bonfire field parties.

The picture made us pause because it looked familiar. You see, where Andee and Grey grew up, there wasn't much to do. We didn't have any money, so we couldn't spend all our free time at the mall or the movies, and kids didn't hang out at Barnes and Noble and piss off adults until much later. So what we did was park our cars in the middle of an empty field and set stuff on fire.

Oh, and drink.

Annnnnnnnd make out with boys.

We know we promised you something epic for today, and for us, it is pretty epic, because we get to go back in time and relive our very first venture into the world of popularity and partying. It pretty much ends with us puking our guts out into the bushes, but oh....we were so innocent, so pure, so ready to go out and get wasted and smoke cigarettes (btw Andee NEVER smoked cigarettes because she doesn't want CANCER...GREY!) and dance innapropriately to rap music.

But since we promised you epic, and you probably don't want to hear about how we lost our party virginity, we're going to change the story up a little bit.

We're going to invite Bella and Jacob along with us.

It was a cool fall night in southeast Alabama. Five friends have gotten permission from all their parents to go to their very first field party. This was a very big deal...the first party where there were NO parents, NO potties, and NO RULES. Just ol' fashioned, irresponsible fun. Of course, our parents thought there were would be marshmallows and weenie roasting, not beer drinking and pot smoking (which technically Grey never got high...and Andee never tried...and Andee just found out her bff Grey did try it. You never know about people). Parents don't know anything...

The girls are in the 9th grade, so young....fresh meat, if you will. Bella Swan is the new girl at school, and already everyone is falling for her. You can kind of tell why...come on, she totally looks hot in this picture. It's like she has a wind machine following her around everywhere she goes, tossing those shiny brown locks everywhere. And don't get us started on her freaking perfect have to admit, she gives great face in pictures.

Actual Picture from our first Field Party (We actually can't remember if Bella was there or not...It was that kind of night.)

But we were happy to be in her company...that means we'd get lots of attention by association. Which was fine, because we were all just relentless social-climbers anyway. Why else would we be heading to an upper-classman party in the middle of a field?

We spend two hours getting ready, everyone sharing clothes, putting on make-up, fixing their hair, hating what they have on, re-fixing their hair. Bella doesn't really do any of fact, she looks kinda bored and keeps staring out of the window, like there's something out there. It's a little creepy, honestly. We try to distract her by talking about that Cullen guy that she seems to be hanging out with, but she's pretty tight lipped. Maybe we can get her drunk and then she'll talk.

Then we spent two hours waiting for someone to pick us up. Because we can't drive.

Then when someone FINALLY shows up to get us, it's a boy, because at our school, girls are really ageist and would never offer to pick up five freshmen girls and take them to a party. Normally, a boy picking you up for a party would be great. Except that he was picking us up in his pick-up truck.

A pick-up truck that only seats three. And there are five of us. Which means Grey, Andee and one of the other girls had to hitch a ride with someone else. So we asked Grey's dad to drive us.

To a field party.

Because we wanted to be at that party so badly, we let a 50 year old father, who still to this day doesn't know his daughter drinks occasionally, drive the remaining girls into the country in his company car.

Which was a white Mercury Grand Marquis. Yes, that's right....Grey's dad took us to a underage-drinking field party in what was, essentially, A COP CAR.

We almost didn't make it out of the driveway. Not because we were embarrassed to be going to a field party in a car that looks exactly like an unmarked cop car driven by Grey's father. No, it was because Andee had forgotton to put on her seatbelt, and Grey's dad wouldn't move the car an inch until she did. But he didn't tell her that. We just sat there for a full minute before Andee asked why we weren't moving.

When we finally made it out of town and into the country, Grey's dad missed the entrance to the field, probably because that stupid kid in front of him thought he was a cop and just drove on past it. When we realized that we should turn around and go back, Andee offered a friendly suggestion to turn around in someone's driveway.

Grey's dad really didn't appreciate the suggestion very much.

(To be fair to Grey's dad, he was having to chauffeur his only child--his sweet baby girl--to a field party, so he was probably entitled to be a little grumpy.)

After being dropped off, we hitched a ride on someone's truck tailgate and rode into the party. The other girls were already there, and Bella had already gained an admirer. They were talking and laughing, and he was really hot, but she still looked kind of lost most of the time. And was still doing that stare into the woods thing. Creepy.

B: "This party is just not as exciting as that time those vampires were trying to kill me."

As Bella sat there talking with the cute guy, Andee and Grey decided it was time for some Zima's with Jolly Ranchers and shots of that Aftershock stuff, followed with a little bit of Goldschlager, followed by....well, nothing else because after the first Zima we were toasted. We tried and tried to break the Aftershock bottle to get the crystals inside, and then finally some valiant drunk dude came and busted it open for us. So we ate cinnimon crystals out of a broken glass bottle for a while, and then Andee wandered off so Grey sat down near the bonfire next to Bella and her hottie, who turned out to be named Jacob.

Grey must have been really, REALLY wasted because she could have sworn they were talking about werewolves and vampires and someone called the "third wife." Then they talked about some dude named Harry and his fish fry, which made Grey really hungry because she loves fried catfish. Grey looked up across the bonfire to see Andee try and take a seat on a beer cooler, only to fall backwards off the cooler and smack her head on someone's open tailgate (true story).

Yeah, we were smashed.

Grey had to go pee, so she headed out into the woods. Peeing outdoors is really hard. It's even harder when you're tanked. And she kept hearing all these weird noises. It sounded like an animal, breathing heavily. Like, a really big animal. Or it could have been some perv with asthma. It was scary either way, so Grey hurried back to the campfire.

When she returned, Andee was standing at the bonfire, looking into it like she was dazed. Grey pulled her away from the fire and all the people. Andee was sobbing uncontrollably, and Grey was really worried.

Grey: What's wrong?
Andee: I have something to tell you.
Grey: What is it?
Andee: Promise you won't be mad.
Grey: Ok, I won't be mad.
Andee: You're gonna be mad.
Grey: I'm not going to be mad, I swear.
Andee: I.....I just......I just made out with your ex-boyfriend, Zach.
Grey: That's all?
Andee: Yes.
Grey: Oh, wow. I thought you had gone off and had sex with a bear in the woods or something. No, I'm not mad.
Bella: They're NOT bears!
Andee and Grey: Huh?
Bella: Nevermind.

*Note from Grey: I really wasn't mad. The dude she drunkenly made out with and I had broken up the year before. But he was my first love, and I still Facebook stalk him to this day, so I guess I could've called Andee a giant slut and never spoken to her again. But I didn't, cause I love her. (*Note from Andee: And because I called you and couldn't even speak I was crying so hard and you though someone had died instead of making out with your ex.*) Plus, she made out with a ton of people, and I was bound to have dated one or two of them, so it was going to happen eventually anyway.*

*Note from Andee, I regret to tell the blog stalkers that the situation was SOOO payback, because in middle school every boy I liked turned out to like Grey instead, and everytime I thought I would get asked to the 8th grade prom by the boys I liked, they asked Grey and then I CRIED... thanks Grey, thanks ALOT*

The party was winding down. Andee had stopped drunkenly sobbing and Grey had thrown up, so they both felt much better. Now to find a ride home. That hunky Jacob kid offered to take us back in his car. We walked over and he got in, but Bella, Grey and Andee stood outside the front passenger door, huddled in a chick conference, debating on who would ride up front with Jake. We didn't understand why Bella didn't want to ride up front with Jacob.
Andee: The dude is hot. He was talking to you all night. Why won't you ride in the front?
Bella: *looks nervously into the woods*
Bella: Nothing. I don't want to sit up front with Jake because *mumbles something that sounds like "he's watching me"*
Andee: I'm sorry, what did you say? I can't hear you, you'll have to speak up.
Bella: I said *mumbles something else, sounds like "Greek god". Or maybe it was "jealous vegetarian vampire boyfriend"*
Grey: We still can't hear you. Talk louder.
Andee: You know what? I'll sit up front. Jacob is freaking fine.
Grey: Maybe you'll make out with him, too.


  1. As an official "blog stalker", I must say that I love this. And I want to marry you both. Which is kind of a big deal since I still haven't married my bf of 6.5 years.

    I thought my mom was the only one who would sit in a driveway without speaking for 20 min because of a seatbelt. Parents are insane. And now I do it too.

    You two are adorable. And I'm seriously starting to believe that OK and AL are the same place. People have these field parties here too. I never went to one... mostly bc I was too shy, hated the outdoors, and really wasn't that cool but I see now that I was missing out. I could have busted my head open on a tailgate! ;)

    PS. I know this is a really long comment. I'm attempting and avoiding hw and have banned myself from fanfic. It's a difficult life sometimes.

    PPS. The captcha word to verify this comment was "mating". I laughed like a 13 year old boy.

    *goes away now*

  2. We can honestly say there was no "mating" at *this* field party.

    P.S. Even though they were the absolute bomb back in the day....I sometimes think maybe I wouldn't have been such a slut if I had spent my weekends at the mall. :)


  3. *stares at pic of Jacob* *Covers left side of screen* *drools a little*
    What? Oh yeah...I wanna go to a field party. Our fields have cows in them and you'd most probably sit on a cow pat and have poo on your jeans for the rest of the night. Jacob wouldnt like that. one would like that...
    And back to my point, can we have a field party one day? I promise I'll be really quiet and wont track in poo. Cant promise I wontmake out with hot younger dude though...but I think you guys would be ok with that...cause you guys are bloody awesome!
    <3 your hilarious minds!

  4. Just let us know, and it can happen! Andee's house is in the middle of a field, and I'm sure she wouldn't mind having a bonfire. As long as we don't accidentally set her house on fire.


  5. While I've never been to a bonfire (sad I know) you had me at making out with boys. Hello memories from my teens!

    This Yankee hearts your blog! xo

  6. Hi, Michelle!

    You don't have to have a bonfire in a field, you know. You can pretty much set fire to anything, anywhere, and as long as you have some cheap beer and play country music, it will be exactly the same thing!!!

    Until the cops come because you've set fire to a deck chair on the roof of your apartment building.

  7. LOVELOVELOVE this, Jacob for the win :D
    (&Grey and Andee o_o)

    Just had a bonfire party last night, it was way awesome! So much great memories :)
    You guys should come to Hawaii, its party central over here!

  8. Rainbeau, I am taking your "suggestion" that Andee and I come to Hawaii and turning it into an actual "invitation"--I hope your place has enough room for us AND all our suitcases. Oh, and that there is plenty of food in your fridge.