Tuesday, March 30, 2010

If It Ain't Midnight Sun...

Today's big news is that Stephenie Meyer--completely and totally out of the blue (or gray, if you live in Forks)--announced that she will release a new novelette (is that like a novel omlette?) entitled "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner" and will chronicle what it was like for Bree from Eclipse to be a newborn vampire.

Here are the emotions we felt, in the order we felt them:

1. WTF?
2. New Twilight material. That's kind of neat....
3. .....but it's about Bree? That little newborn from Eclipse?
4. WTF?
5. Cheese and crackers, I'm hungry. Is it lunch yet?
6. Why is Stephenie writing new Twilight stuff......hey, wait a minute.....WHERE THE HELL IS MIDNIGHT SUN?

While we are just THRILLED that Stephenie Meyer, who has stated (as Andee so very correctly pointed out) that she wanted to be away from the Twilight world for a while, has contradicted herself and brought us some new Twilight noms to munch on, the only question on so many people's minds today is WHAT ABOUT MIDNIGHT SUN?

Steph, listen. We love you. Your brain was the very birthplace of our beloved Edward, Bella and Jacob. You created this fantastic world that makes rational, sane, NORMAL people want to actually check out of the Hey, Reality Really Isn't That Bad Motel and check into your Twilight Hotel of Wonderfulmentness and Wish Fulfillment. (Even though riding the elevators makes you sick, you still get an Edward or a Jacob--or a Bella, for that matter--on your pillow each evening, so it's worth it.) YOU ARE THE MOMMA OF TWILIGHT. You made this all possible. But we. only. want. Midnight Sun.

Stephenie, you are awesome. You are SO AWESOME, in fact, that we are pretty sure there's NOTHING that you can't do. We bet you could:

1. Discover the cure for cancer
2. Bring peace to the Middle East
3. Acheive worldwide nuclear disarmament
4. Fix healthcare. We mean REALLY fix it. Like, to the point where EVERYONE is happy with it.
5. Find the perfect renewable energy source
6. Travel to Mars on a spaceship you built in your backyard.
7. While on Mars, discover the existence of alien lifeforms.
8. Recover the Holy Grail.
9. Unearth the lost city of Atlantis. The real one, not the resort-vacation one.
10.Find out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop *Note from Andee: Grey totally put "Tootie Pop" instead of "Tootsie Pop" and I had to correct her. I almost didn't because it would have been funny. *

You could do all these things, Stephenie Meyer, and you would be celebrated by the entire world. We would cheer you, toast you, pat you on the back, throw you a ticker tape parade. You would be hailed, applauded, and just plain lauded. But when all the celebrations were finished, we would still ask you....

"But what about Midnight Sun????"

Finish the book, Stephenie. FINISH THE BOOK. THEN you can work on the Tootsie Pop thing.

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootie Pop?"  We swear this is not *that* type of blog.


  1. AMEN.

    Too Effing Funny. I'm staying in the Twilight Hotel of Wonderfulmentness and Wish Fulfillment forever. In the Forksy'all Suite. But I'm leaving a note for the maid to leave my Edward in the mini-fridge. I hear he's hell on pillows.

    And now I'm off to pimp this post with an inappropriate tweet. I KID YOU NOT.

  2. Get my daughter off my back - please I'm not a TWIGHLIGHT fan at all sorry, but my teenage daughter, agggghhhh, please please it's been two years since your first draft, put them all out of their misery - MIDNIGHT SUN, do the work woman, they will all still buy it no matter what the draft by those that betrayed you! PLEASE? (from the UK)

  3. you are a amazing woman stephenie meyer you have inspired me and everyone out there x x x x
    i am way going to that twilight hotel x x x x