The Three Extraordinary Things That Are Happening Today
1. Robert Pattinson is now officially in the South.
2. Robert Pattinson will honest-to-gah set foot in a city that I too have stepped foot in. Well, both feet, actually.
3. Tonight, I get to eat fried catfish at my Grandmother's.
Now, these things happening on the exact same day? "Impossible," I would have said before breakfast this morning. What are the odds that on the very day I will partake of that oh-so-Southern dish prepared by my oh-so-Southern grandmother, Rob would be physically located in the South, a region of the country that I can actually claim as my own? "Not good," I would have said before breakfast this morning.
Apparently I need to learn to believe three impossible things before breakfast.
Rob in the South, from WRCB TV via Robsessed
Still, even if I did believe in three (or six) impossible things before breakfast, these three occurrences are--without a doubt--very rare. The South is nothing like Hollywood--what are the chances that Rob would visit for any reason? And my Grandmother usually sleeps until noon or is at the mall with her friends discussing old people stuff--so there's rarely a family dinner to be had at her house.
It makes me wonder....what if these three occurrences are actually a sign? And what if that sign isn't necessarily a good one? What if.....these three extraordinary things are actually the herald of the apocalypse?
Nah, if it was the apocalypse, there would be death and destruction and fire....like hell on eart-***********We interrupt this pointless post for the weather report--in the south, temperatures reaching 100 degrees, with the heat index reaching 115 degrees this weekend. I REPEAT, IT FEELS LIKE IT'S 115 FUCKING DEGREES. We now continue with your irregularly scheduled post.***********