Friday, April 16, 2010

Grey's attempts at scoring an O.........prah ticket for her and Andee. Geez, ya'll have dirty minds.

Tuesday night I was cruising Twitter like a 16-year-old with the windows down and the stereo up, playing a little Jay-Z and Jermaine Dupre "Money Ain't A Thang" loud enough that there would be no way to hear a  policeman coming up on my rear (I'm not even going to say "That's what she said."), but not so loud that whatever bass my 1988 Buick LeSabre sedan had in it would tickle my palms as they grip the steering wheel. (No, I was not on Twitter while driving. It was an attempt at a metaphor. Or something. I don't even have the Buick anymore. Anyway, it obviously didn't work. I'll move on now.)

I saw on Twitter that Oprah was looking for Twilight fans. Now, I had already seen this news somewhere before, but this time I decided to check it out. When I went to her website, you could fill out an application to be featured on a show devoted to the wonderful fans of Twilight. I didn't have anything else to do, so I applied.

Wow. Oprah and Stephenie Meyer. I bet TV broke that day.

Now I know that spread out all over this crazy ball we call Earth, there are much more deserving Twilight fans to be featured on Oprah than Andee and I, fans who have gone to great lenghts for their love of Twilight. But it couldn't hurt to send something in anway. Who knows? Maybe the secretary of the personal assistant to the assistant producer of Oprah's show would actually read it, and something good would come out of it.

"I have people to read my mail to people who type the transcripts of my mail and then they e-mail them to people who forward those e-mails to other people who print out the e-mails and put them in color-coded folders that get placed on a desk in an office at the back of Harpo studios. I don't know what happens to them after that."

So I wrote:

I was introduced to the Twilight Saga by my best friend Andee. I had been resistant to her many attempts to get me to read the books, but finally, while on vacation in Florida, she held me captive under a beach umbrella with no reading material other than Twilight. I had a choice: read Twilight or watch seagulls. The seagulls eventually got boring, so I picked up the book.

By the end of the first chapter, I was hooked.

All I could think about was Twilight. And Edward. Ok, fine--and Robert Pattinson. It was like I was in love with him or something.

And then I realized I was.

I had fallen in love with the character of Edward right along with Bella. I think that's why people like and can identify with these books so well: it reminds them of the first time they fell in love. Your man may not be Edward Cullen, but he’s pretty close. Except for the whole undead thing.

Andee and I spent so much time talking Twilight, we decided to create a blog:, two Southern girls' humorous perspective of the Twilight Saga. We''re not super famous bloggers or anything, but that's ok. We like what we do--it helps us not only entertain ourselves, but also really stimulates creativity. I write freelance for a local magazine, and the best article I've ever written came after the creation of the blog. Plus, we've made really wonderful online friends who are smart, funny and very supportive, and we have come to love them. A lot.

We spend so much of our lives on Twilight-related stuff, but we wouldn't have it any other way. As Edward says, "You are my life now." We realize this will only last as long as the movies do, and we're a little sad knowing that one day, it will all be over. So we're trying to enjoy the mad, crazy, fantastic moments while we still can.

We would love to be featured, but we know there are so many worthy fans out there that may better exemplify the Twilight Fandom. But tickets to the Twilight Fan show would be a pretty sweet consolation prize.

Give us another mad, crazy, fantastic moment, Oprah.

*Crossing our fingers that the secretary to the personal assistant of the assistant producer can hook us up.*

Please give us tickets, Oprah. We will be good. We won't jump on your couch.


  1. Can I vote you two? Oprah should let me vote. I want to vote!

    Lovely letter. But seriously, if you get on the Oprah show... jump on the couch. When you are arrested say, "Fang made me do it." They'll understand. I'm very persuasive.

  2. I think that you should get someone to nominate you....after all, you *may* just be the most influential Twilight fan I've ever known. You are the freaking reason Billy Burke found Twitarded. You have that awesome not-real-but-still-kind-of-scary beef with those dudes that are occasionally on LTT. You've got your finger in the Twilight Pie. (Totally different from American Pie. Wait, not really...) You should totally at least ask for tickets.

  3. While meeting Oprah would probably make me piss my pants... Wait. See? I can't pee on her couch. That would be more embarrassing than Tom's sudden urge to jump. And Oprah wouldn't want an online bully, no matter how good my intentions are. ;)

    Btw, Y'ALL are the reason Billy Burke found Twitarded. I check that site once a monthish and only remembered to because I saw their link in your sidebar. See? OPRAH NEEDS YOU! Put that in your letter!

  4. OMG...that makes us totally connected to Billy Burke. It's like he talked to *us*. Thru Twitarded...thru us!!!!!

    Yeah, Oprah would put a hit out on your if you peed her couch.