Friday, March 12, 2010

Twilight Convention Day Two: How to make Daniel Cudmore less of a man. Nevermind, it can't be done.

It certainly has been crazy for us these past two days, and we’re sorry that we didn’t get our stupendous account of how we made Daniel Cudmore impersonate a female British aristocrat out to you faithful forkheads sooner. We apologize.  We’ve been bad girls.

Actually, it’s Real Life that deserves the spanking. Yesterday, Grey had two board meetings to attend, a bridal shower to host, and (most importantly) a visit with our newest (and FIRST!) Pseudo Nephew, Eli, who is PRECIOUS, and only almost killed his mommy getting here. (Text to Eli’s Mommy from Grey: Dear Eli’s Mommy, It is now 5pm and you have been in labor at the hospital all day. You have now convinced me to never have children. Love u!) But now that he’s arrived, we expect awesome things from him. Honestly, he could be the next Billy Graham, or Winston Churchill, or Abraham Lincoln. He’s only three days old and he’s already THAT AWESOME.

Look. At that. FACE. So precious.

We’re now ready to tell you about DAY TWO of our Atlanta Twi Con trip. It started, awesomely enough, with two delicious breakfasts, delivered right to our hotel door. It was super yummy, but I think the ingredient that made it taste so good was that little bit of “FREE” they sprinkled on the bacon, eggs, hash browns, and toast. Yes, all our breakfasts were free. Freedom tastes good.

Now THIS is what waking up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy is REALLY like

(Note from Grey: Andee says these are in the wrong order. I'm just going to pretend that they happened in this order because I don't want to go find my itinerary it makes me happy.)

We then headed down for a Q and A session with Michael Welch. I think the night before had taken a lot out of him, because he looked a little weary.  As soon as he stepped on stage, he took a shot of 5 Hour Energy, and hurled the bottle into the audience. It hit someone in the head.

So Mike answered fan questions, and apparently the 5 Hour Energy kicked in immediately, because the entire session, he walked back and forth, left to right, across the stage. We think he was trying to hypnotize us. Or make us throw up. Maybe it was both. Maybe he hypnotized us and planted a subliminal message to want to hurl every time we got off the elevators. If that’s the case, then Mike Welch is a FLIPPING AWESOME HYPNOTIST, because that’s exactly what happened to us when we used the elevators.
When not hypnotizing us, Mike rested. But not in the chair.

Mike also did impressions, like DeNiro, and Pacino. The best ones though, were his impression of Rob singing "Never Think" and of Bella (yes, Bella. Not Kristen). Bella’s involved looking serious and constantly putting his hair behind one ear every 3 seconds. It was spot on.
De Niro quote Mike used: "I've got nipples. You wanna milk me, Focker?" 

Next was Daniel Cudmore, whom Grey was really excited to see because she’s a comic book geek and LOVES X-Men. Daniel was so freaking hot and hilarious. He was the ONLY person who could sit in the director’s chair and actually have his feet planted firmly on the floor. Boy is tall and built like a superhero. He could save our day anytime. The best line he had the entire time was when someone asked who was more athletic, him or Rob. He just chuckled and said, “I don’t wanna toot my own horn, but…………….BOOP.”  When we went to get our picture taken with him, he said he was a “lucky man” to be standing in between us. We didn't disagree.

That is a whole lotta man. Oh, yeah.

The next Twilight star on stage was Christopher Heyerdahl, and let us tell you, we weren’t expecting much. We didn’t know anything about him except that he plays the single most boring character in the entire Twilight saga. But we were wrong, because he was hilarious!!! He made jokes, walked around the stage (but not in that hypnotic Mike Welch way), and did impressions. He also gave us the "Cutest Rob Pattinson Story" of the weekend. While shooting the New Moon Volturi fight scene, they were practicing when Felix throws Edward on the stone steps right in front of Marcus. Take after take, Rob was thrown down at Christopher's feet. After one take, while lying on the floor, Rob looked up at Christopher and said, "I like your slippers." A-dorable.

He even dresses cool.

See, Chris was wearing slippers because he has an amazing ability to find the most in-depth backstories to his characters. He explained that Marcus was so bored because he has lost the love of his life, and his endless existence no longer had meaning. He even worked with the costume department to have his outfit during the fight scene reflect that. He likened it to someone who never wants to get out of bed, but if they absolutely have to, they just throw on whatever and go. So his pants were threadbare, and wore slippers. We can't wait to look more closely at Marcus when New Moon comes out.

 (Note from Grey: We're going to include Gil Birmingham in the Day Three post, even though he was there on Saturday, too. That way Day 3 will be ALL WOLF PACK, baby. Yeah.)

At the autograph signing, we really outdid ourselves. We have terminal word vomit, and stuff just comes out and we can't control it. Usually it turns out to be pretty awesome. Sometimes....not. This time was pretty awesome.

First up was Daniel Cudmore. Grey was already smitten, so the first thing she did was flatter him by saying that she loved X2 and X3. The convention "handler" sitting next to him immediately asked, "What character did he play?" like she was TESTING me or something. It was weird, but since Grey is the X-Geek that she is, of course she knew he played Colossus. A+ Gold Star for Grey! Then, the word vomit came up, and Grey told Daniel that his watch was HUGE (It WAS, for real! Like the size of a coaster or something), and then he said that you could eat breakfast off of it, and then Grey said "That's so funny, because I said earlier to Andee that you could use it as a saucer for your teacup." To which Daniel replied: "Yeah, because that's soooo manly." He then proceeded to pick up an imaginary teacup from his watch/saucer and drink it while telling us "It's so lovely" in a British accent. Then we told him that he had to have his pinkie up, and he obliged. Big, bad, sexy ass Daniel Cudmore, holding an imaginary teacup with his pinkie up. Priceless.
Annnnnnd another hot picture of Dan the Man. Grey is in love.

And now for Andee's word vomit. We moved on to Christopher where Andee told him that he was so funny on stage and that she "was worried because in the movie, you're character is so boring, that we were worried that you would put us to sleep or something. But you were GREAT!" Oh yes, the filters were off that night. (We were totally sober, honest.) THANK GOD he found that comment absolutely hilarious, and he died laughing. He loved it so much that when he signed Andee's book, he put little "zzzzzz's" next to his picture of Marcus. He was so great!

(Note from Grey: Ok, I can't write anymore. I have to go and make out with my computer because I haven't had internet access ALL FREAKING DAY, and I need some alone time with it. It's ok, we won't go too far. But if we do, it's ok......we have protection. It's got anti-virus software.)

(P.S. Note from Grey: Oh, gah. That was lame.)


  1. Awwwwww... Adorable baby! He looks so serious. :)

    Mike Welch sounds like the sort of person who would annoy me. Too much. Just too much.

    Love that you got the giant guy to drink fake tea. Fake tea has to be better than the real stuff. Eww.

    PS. I liked your lame joke.

  2. Thank you for liking my lame joke, but I don't think the anti virus software worked because I'VE HAD THE STOMACH FLU ALL DAY. I should have known it was a bad idea...

  3. Eli is ADORABLE!!!

    Is it just me or does Mike Welch make you think he still holds a grudge for being passed over as Edward AND Jacob. "Look Summit! I haz abs! I can go orange...I mean tan and I even dyed my hair. Please to be in the Wolf Pack?"

    Oh Daniel...I am roughly the height or shorter than Betty White so you wont see me look up at your extremely sexy knee and sigh at what a hunk you are.

    Cant wait for the Wolf pack post! Best account of a convention I have EVER read. Epic and hilarious!

    P.s. I am late to comment. Please dont shun me! This is all I have....*sob*
    P.p.s. Hope you feel better! And your jokes are faaaar from lame. TRUST!

  4. Congrats to Eli's Mommy and congrats to Aunties Grey and Andee. I've got $5 on him outselling Elvis AND the Beatles before eventually bringing about world peace through song.

    I'm so psyched that you guys are able to bring us all the greatness from the Con. Hearing your take on things is the next best thing to being there. And I mean this quite literally, as I would be just as unable to filter or reign myself in when meeting these people.

    How freaking cute is the slippers story? DANG CUTE, I say.

    P.S. GREY! DUDE! COLOSSUS! I'm so proud of you right now. *wipes tear*