We don't think you're ready for this jelly...
The story continues thus: The first ever Twilight Karaoke party was kicked off by Peter Facinelli (Andee's new love, she talks about him more than her husband now). First there was a karaoke contest. We did not partake in this, due to the fact that Grey is terrified of singing in front of people because she can't sing. Also, Andee--who does sing in her church choir--didn't want to embarass herself in front of Peter. So we sat in our seats in the blessed anonymity that was the darkened ballroom and
Peter didn't sing for us, but thankfully, we didn't sing for Peter, either.
Peter didn't stay for very long because he had to catch a plane. (Note from Andee: I wanted to go with him, but I figured Grey would get mad if I left her and she had to come get me at the aiport because security had detained me for stalking). But our saddness only lasted for a few moments because then Michael Welch took the stage, and when he took the stage, he took our hearts. Because the boy had dyed his blonde hair brown, which made him look totally hotter than in Twilight or New Moon. The fact that he is either extremely ADHD or clinically insane only added to his charm.
"How you likin' the karaoke, Mike?"
He came out shaking his head like a mother effing rock star, jumping around all over the stage, and singing some 90's alternative song that we didn't know. But it was fine, because he was rocking out and being crazy and totally owning that stage. He was down to earth and probably the FUNNIEST person on the planet, completely not ashamed to do embarassing crap like you would think most celebs would be.
Crotch Shot. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
And then the audience members started coming up to sing and you know how karaoke goes....someone always wants to sing some slow show tune that they did in their high school play or something. Some of it was pretty bathos. (Note: This is Andee's word she picked up from Cosmo Radio. It has the same meaning as LTT's "second hand embarrassment". ) And our darling Mike was trying his best to smile and and not make it awkward. It was at this point that Andee decided to
Andee: We should totally go up there and sing "Baby Got Back"
Andee: Come on, it will be awesome. We will rock out and everyone will love us.
Andee: Why not?
Grey: I've never done karaoke before and I will throw up.
Andee: ................I'm signing us up.
So Andee went up front and signed us up to sing "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-lot, which Andee knew would be a hit. She also knew that Grey would be fine because Grey knows EVERY WORD TO EVERY RAP SONG EVER CREATED (Note from Grey: This is an exaggeration. Seventy-five percent, maybe). And even if we weren't fantastic, who cares? Everyone loves 90's rap and would be dancing along to the song anyway, regardless of whether we were on key or not. As we waited for our turn, this conversation was repeated every 2 or 3 minutes:
Andee: Oh. Erm...wow. The theme from Les Miserables.
Grey: I'm going to throw up.
Grey: Because you are making me go on stage.
Andee: *sighing with disappointment* We don't have to.
Grey: Yes we do. I have to do this. I speak in public for a living. I have to go on stage.
Andee: That's the spirit!
Grey: I'm going to throw up.
Grey was secretly hoping that the lyrics to BGB would be deemed inappropriate for the younger folks in the crowd and that they would skip over our names completely. But then Mike Welch said "Andee and Grey, HAHA. This is a good song," and we proceeded up to the stage in anticipation of utter humiliation (in Grey's case) and an effing good time (in Andee's case--she even took her heels off because she knew she would be shaking it big time).
Maybe it was the feel of the microphone in her hand. Maybe it was the good luck hug from Mike. But when the music started, the rhythm of that familar tune clicked something in Grey's brain. We're not saying that she went all gansta rapper on everyone, but....actually, that is exactly what happened.
Do you see these moves? White girls (and boy) got skillz, yo.
There--on stage in front of God and everybody--Andee and Grey proceeded to GET THE EFF DOWN. We were lyrical gangsters, spitting rhymes and hitting our flow. It was EPIC. In all humility and modestly, WE. WERE. AWESOME. And yes, our asses were flying all over the place. We even turned around and shook them for the audience.
You can't blame us. The lyrics clearly said "Turn around, stick it out"
We made Mike Welch our backup dancer, and he hung out on the side of the stage (away from us, he must've been scared of our bootyliciousness) dancing his butt off. At one point, he was on the ground, but we can't remember if he was doing the worm or what. Actually, we pretty much forgot that there was even a Twilight celebrity on the stage with us. It was all a blur of complete awesomeness.
Possible worm. We should remember this, because we are clearly pointing at him. Maybe it's because he's missing his arms.
Other awesome moments:
- The redhead who danced by herself all night. She was so into it that at one point, we caught her ripping the clip that was holding up her hair and shaking her wild red hair out. It was like a fantastic 80's music video. All that was missing was a Camero t-top.
- Deborah, who decided she wanted to sing Baby Got Back, too. Her's was a little more risque than ours, and was apparently so hot that Mike Welch had to douse the flames by pouring the rest of his water bottle out over his head. True. Story. But she made an impression, because Mike remembered her the next day. "Oh....hi, Deborah."
- The girl that wouldn't stop talking to Andee and it was all Grey's fault. See, there was a teenaged girl that was sitting next to us, and Grey leaned across Andee to tell her that she looked like a young Dakota Fanning. And she really did in the face. In Dakota's weird puberty stage. Grey then retreated back to her seat, leaving Andee with a new friend, who regaled Andee with endless stories about how cute Peter was, and how she got a picture with him, and how cute Mike was, and how she wanted to get a picture with him. You know, average fangirl stuff. But this girl was hardcore. You know we joked about flashing Gil Birmingham, or tickling Kiowa Gordon, but we know better. This girl didn't know better, because she freaking kissed Mike Welch on the cheek. Totally inappropriate, and all we could do was stare. It all happened so fast, but if we had been more on the ball, we totally would have saved Mike Welch from the Dakota-Fanning-hitting-puberty looking girl. Then he would have given us kisses on the cheek for saving the day and generally being all-around heroes and awesome karaoke stars.
And another picture of us and Mike Welch. Just because we can. And it was awesome.
The night seemed never ending, which was really pissing Andee off because she had been up since 4:00am that morning. But then Mike did his fantastic version of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" and the karaoke was officially over. But before we could be sad, Mike announced that since he that since he had basically taken pictures with 90% of the people at the party that he would take pictures with remaining 10%, which was INCREDIBLY NICE. He even constantly apologized for being so sweaty, which was very gentlemanly. But sweaty is kinda sexy, so we didn't mind. We mean "Oh em gee, MIKE WELCH sweated on me!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
So now we were in love with both Peter AND Mike Welch. Plus Robert Pattinson. (Plus Kristen Stewart for Grey--she has a girl crush). Plus our husband/fiance. Is it possible to be in love with so many people at one time? Will they all fit into your heart? Is there room for any more? Are we going to break out into a cheesy 90's boy band love song?
No, but we'll emasculate Daniel Cudmore, and you'll want to come back tomorrow for that.