Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Twilight Profile: Tinsel Korey, or Watch How I Make This Whole Post Come Together. Marvel At My Skillz.

Last night I had a wonderful dream. It was wonderful because Rob Pattinson was in it and he was totally on his way to becoming my boyfriend. I think the dream was brought on by this
week's acute overdose of Robert. All this Remember Me promotion....I saw him all the time. And then he was gone, flying back across the pond in a bright yellow t-shirt with an American flag on his beautiful chest. It broke my heart.

I'm smiling, too. Through tears.

In my dream, I was in high school, and was terrified, because somehow I had offended a group of girls and they had arranged to fight me after school. Why I agreed to fight them, I have no idea. I have tiny, inneffectual fists that would do me no good in a Southern girl brawl. Southern girls tear off each others clothes. And hair. I was doomed.

But the shining point in my day was that Rob was there, and he was my friend. He was a "new friend." A "new friend" is a friend who is relatively new in your life (OMG, Grey, really? A "new friend" is a friend who is relatively new? Really?! I had NO IDEA) and is great, but since they are new, you haven't yet explored the potential for a relationship. It could very well happen. This is different from an "old friend" who is somone you are close with, but you've known each other for so long that the decision to explore a relationship--if it ever even came up--has passed. A "new friend" may become either a "boyfriend" or an "old friend". Or maybe both.

But in my dream, I talked and joked with Rob. (He was Cannes Rob, by the way. I didn't know ANY boys in school who looked like Cannes Rob.) I can't remember what about, but I know I wasn't flirting with him hard. Which made it a total surprise when, in the middle of our conversation, we both looked at each other and knew. Knew that we wanted to be more than friends at the exact same time.

Next thing I knew, Rob was sucking on my big toe.

Now, I have this anti-touch-my-feet thing, but I have to admit, I was not unhappy. Which is weird, because in real life, I would have been very unhappy if someone other than Rob had my toe in their mouth. I guess my dream is indicative of the things I would let Rob do to me, which would all fall under the category of "Anything." But the weirdest part of the weird part of my dream was that my fiance was right behind us, stuffing three-ring binders into a cardboard box. Rob's back was to him, so he couldn't see the toe-sucking. I guess this part of my dream was indicative of what I would do if forced to choose between my fiance and Robert Pattinson.

How could anyone say "no" to Cannes Rob?

So Rob was going to be my boyfriend, my toes were being serviced, all was right with the dream world. And then my alarm clock went off. And it all just..........disappeared. I tried to go back to sleep, to get back to Rob, but it was no use. He was gone. And not just gone from my dream, but gone from my country, too. It felt like Christmas morning as a kid, after you've ran into the living room, seen all the wonderful presents under the tree, felt the suspense of opening each one, knowing there is another, and another, and another, left to open. And then they've all been opened.......and it's over. And not just the present opening, but Christmas itself, what you've prepared for for months. It's all just........over. That's what it felt like to have Robert Pattinson that close, to see him doing interview after interview, to wait in anticipation for each late night/early morning talk show appearance, to watch each red carpet interview, and to achieve that ultimate high--to have a wonderful dream about him. And then he's gone, and it's over.
I may be too depressed to go on. But since we're on the subject of Christmas, and our Twilight Profile of the day is supposed to be Tinsel Korey, a.k.a. Sam's fiancee Emily Young, I guess I'll have to. How could I waste such a perfect lead-in?

So you're the wolf girl, huh?

Tinsel, which may I add is a fabulous name, is a Canadian muscian and actress. She's been in a few movies and television shows, but by far the most recognizable thing she's done is Twilight. She is a gorgeous woman, and used her short time as Emily in New Moon very well, although I'm not too sure about the "little woman in the kitchen" she portrays, but that's not Tinsel's deal, that's Stephenie's. I think I'm more of a Leah, frankly. But to be a human in the midst of all that weirdness takes guts, and to go through what happened to her.....I think that overshadows her Suzy Homemaker identity.

Yep. You are an awesome girlfriend.

Tinsel's Emily is also present at one of the places in New Moon where I go, "Huh?" This is pretty random, and kind of shows where my mind goes during movies, but when she puts the muffins down in front of Jared and Embry, and they each take one, she says, "Save some for your brothers" and she sounds like their mother. They each have only ONE MUFFIN in their hand. They haven't even taken a bite out of them yet. It's not like they were licking all the muffins on the platter. I totally understand that because of the whole wolf thing, they are hungry ALL THE TIME, but that wasn't really something that CW established in the movie, so
when they each only had the ONE muffin that they had JUST picked up, it came off as weird that she would tell them that.

Get your mother effing hands off those mother effing muffins.

I bet you think it's a little weird that I thought about that.

I bet you think this post is a little weird, too. Heck, maybe that the entire blog is a little weird. But that's ok. I don't care. Because Rob sucks my toes at night, and that's not weird at all.


  1. I am jealous. Even though your dream was a total cock blocker (toesuck blocker?), it was totally better than my only Rob dream. At least he wasn't trying to kill you. Boooo, dream Rob, booooooooo.

    PS. Those muffins look amazing. I would eat them all and say, "Eff you!" to the brothers. :)

  2. Was Rob trying to kill you or was Edward trying to kill you? Cause there's a difference. One is a vampire that thirsts for your blood and could lose his resolve to take human life in an instant. And in that same instant, you would be dead.

    Or is it Rob? Cause Rob trying to kill you would be weird. He doesn't seem like the murderous type.

  3. I laughed out loud at this post not once - not twice - not even THRICE - but . . . fourice. Yes, that's it. I laughed - very loudly, I might add - fourice times.

    And I guarantee you I'm going to pull it up at work tomorrow and laugh all over again. I may even go for fivice.

  4. Fourice is nice! I'm glad YOU were laughing...I was crying almost the whole time I was typing it.

    I miss Rob.

  5. It was Rob.

    He was dressed all Vanity Fair like in his warm sweater thingy and beautiful hair trying to chase me down... Asshole. ;)

    But the more I think about it, the more it may have been Edward. Rob didn't fall or look silly as he chased me, like he would in real life. He just looked terrifying. Maybe Edward was dressed as Rob? Hmmmmmm... Interesting.

  6. If it was Edward dressed as Rob, then Edward is more cunning than we gave him credit for. He can see OUTSIDE the pages of the book.

    Something to think about the next time I re-read the Twilight Saga naked.