Friday, March 26, 2010

So Did I tell Y'all I Have My First Niece? Subtitled: Grey is totally going to "photobomb" Andee's post because she left it on Blogger for Grey to edit. Hee hee hee...

I would like to formally present to all our bloggy First Ever For REAL Niece, River! Here she is....she's totally cute!
This was when she was first born! *Note from Grey: Newborn babies are aliens from outer space, who have mind control powers. Why else would perfectly normal adults start talking in crazy spastic monkey voices? Because it amuses the baby aliens...*

And I'm going to corrupt her...don't think badly of me, I promise I love her, BUT I VOW RIGHT NOW SHE WILL BE A TWILIGHT FAN WITH ME!!!

If you haven't noticed by our fake blogger names....we are kinda somewhat sneaky Twilight fans. Only our closest friends know, and almost none of them know we have a blog about Twilight. *Note from Grey: A few of our friends wouldn't understand, so it's really in our best interest to keep it on the DL. I don't want to have to go through the Twilight version of "Your shoes are ugly."* Our husbands/fiances did find out and they make fun of us all the time, but they don't read it...which is fantastic...because we talk about them frequently! *Note from Grey: I'll say it to Brando's face. I ain't scared...Brando is my fiance. We're getting married this year! But more importantly, I'M GETTING A HOUSE! Also equally important, I'm NOT getting a baby.*

She's already a rock star!

Anyway, my new niece is 1 week and 5 days old. Her hair looks like a punk rocker and I have to say she kinda looks like me and my brother when we were born, except for the hair. (We didn't have hair until we were 3 years old. People thought I was a boy. I had earrings at 6 mths old and they STILL thought I was a boy....)

Isn't she cute? *Note from Grey: This "cute face" is in fact the face baby aliens make in anticipation of feasting on your brains. It's only because they are weak and have inferior motor skills that they can't reach your head to devour what's inside. Lesson learned here: Don't let babies near your head.*

I now tell my motives with my niece...she is going to be my OFFICIAL excuse to buy really embarassing Twilight Saga memorabilia!

I've already decided I'm going to start reading her Twilight whenever I go see her, starting with the first, but Grey has informed me not to read her Breaking Dawn because that might REALLY scare her! But I might still do it! *Note from Grey: NO! She will be afraid of dogs FOREVER!*

River: "I have fingers, y'all!"

And I'm going to probably ruin her love life forever, which I'm not incredibly proud of, because she is going to grow up believing Edward is real! But he's not, and no matter how many times I tell this kid that he doesn't exist, she will still, in the back of her mind, believe he is out there somewhere (like we all do...and don't lie, I know you do...even if you do have a significant other!)

I don't know if the bloggers have noticed this but Grey is somewhat of a baby o' if she does make comments on this blog, which I imagine she will, they should be HILARIOUS! Just gonna throw that out there Grey! *Note from Grey: Oh my gah, the just predicted I would be funny. You have doomed all the comments from me on today's post. Don't you know that I have the blogger version of erectile dysfunction, and if we do all this talk, talk, talking about being funny, I WILL HAVE PERFORMANCE ISSUES???!!I thought you would be more sensitive to this, Andee...*

So this is my confession....I'm going to spoil my new niece with Twilight stuff....does anybody have any objections? Let me know what y'all think because the corruption starts today, at like 2:00 this afternoon, so if its a NO you better let me know quick!!!!

Last picture I've seen as of today, she's smiling because I'm coming to see her! *Note from Grey: And because you're bringing her fresh brains.*



Final note from Grey: I do not think that River looks like an alien. I just think ALL babies look like aliens...River is actually a very cute baby. I just hope she's polite. There's nothing I hate more that a baby with bad manners.


  1. Babies with bad manners are terrible. Terrible little, alien creatures.

    I'm not sure if I'm the best person to ask for advice on this...

    My four year old loves Twilight and New Moon. I have zero issues with letting her watch the movies (BAD MOTHER!) and her Bella and Edward dolls are frequent visitors of the Barbie Dream House (Don't tell Bella, but Edward KEEPS staring at the hawt blondes in bikinis. Tsk, tsk.)

    Anyway, what good could come from NOT spoiling the niece (Totally adorable, btw) with Twilight stuff? What if she grows up and meets a Jacob? What if she doesn't realize that her true Edward love is just lurking around the corner? THESE ARE IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS!

    Besides, when she starts talking and you hear her say things like, "Daddy is jealous of Edward" or "Hold on tight, spider monkey", you will beam with pride.

  2. Awwwww. River is too precious! Congratulations!

    And congratulations to Grey, as well. Despite your worries, you managed to 'get it up.' I consider it your duty now to teach River her first words: "Om nom nom."

    Andee . . . I don't know what to say . . . Edward's not real? Are you trying to hurt us? This can't be true. Next thing, you'll be trying to get us to believe that unicorns only live in fairy tales. HA! How ridiculous . . . I don't believe you. I do, however, approve of your Twilight-brainwashing plan. Good luck and may the Forks be with you.

    Also . . . I think we're gonna need to see River and . . Eli, right? dressed as Bella and Edward at some point in the future. Go ahead and start looking for a tweed onesey a.s.a.p.

  3. I have just texted Andee this most awesome of ideas and THE PLANNING HAS ALREADY BEGUN! This will be fantastic, but hopefully will not involve any kidnapping.

    THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with kids watching Twilight and New Moon. I don't think there's really anything horribly scary about it. I guess some of the cheese factor takes away from the scary factor.

    Are Barbie Bella and Edward the coolest Barbie kids on your tot's block? Cause I wish I had Barbie Twilight dolls when I was her age. Does she have Barbie Jacob? Cause I saw him in Target last night!


  4. Yes. Twilight and New Moon pale in comparison to Zombieland. She loved that too. Momma ain't raisin' no pansy. ;)

    Nope, no Barbie Jacob. I asked if she wanted him... and she said, "No, thank you". HA! I love my tiny hater. She'll probably change her mind though. Such a girl.

    I think the other Barbies are secretly jealous. They have to be put up in their box after she plays but Bella and Edward get to stay out.