This was when she was first born! *Note from Grey: Newborn babies are aliens from outer space, who have mind control powers. Why else would perfectly normal adults start talking in crazy spastic monkey voices? Because it amuses the baby aliens...*
And I'm going to corrupt her...don't think badly of me, I promise I love her, BUT I VOW RIGHT NOW SHE WILL BE A TWILIGHT FAN WITH ME!!!
If you haven't noticed by our fake blogger names....we are kinda somewhat sneaky Twilight fans. Only our closest friends know, and almost none of them know we have a blog about Twilight. *Note from Grey: A few of our friends wouldn't understand, so it's really in our best interest to keep it on the DL. I don't want to have to go through the Twilight version of "Your shoes are ugly."* Our husbands/fiances did find out and they make fun of us all the time, but they don't read it...which is fantastic...because we talk about them frequently! *Note from Grey: I'll say it to Brando's face. I ain't scared...Brando is my fiance. We're getting married this year! But more importantly, I'M GETTING A HOUSE! Also equally important, I'm NOT getting a baby.*
She's already a rock star!
Anyway, my new niece is 1 week and 5 days old. Her hair looks like a punk rocker and I have to say she kinda looks like me and my brother when we were born, except for the hair. (We didn't have hair until we were 3 years old. People thought I was a boy. I had earrings at 6 mths old and they STILL thought I was a boy....)
Isn't she cute? *Note from Grey: This "cute face" is in fact the face baby aliens make in anticipation of feasting on your brains. It's only because they are weak and have inferior motor skills that they can't reach your head to devour what's inside. Lesson learned here: Don't let babies near your head.*
I now tell my motives with my niece...she is going to be my OFFICIAL excuse to buy really embarassing Twilight Saga memorabilia!
I've already decided I'm going to start reading her Twilight whenever I go see her, starting with the first, but Grey has informed me not to read her Breaking Dawn because that might REALLY scare her! But I might still do it! *Note from Grey: NO! She will be afraid of dogs FOREVER!*
River: "I have fingers, y'all!"
And I'm going to probably ruin her love life forever, which I'm not incredibly proud of, because she is going to grow up believing Edward is real! But he's not, and no matter how many times I tell this kid that he doesn't exist, she will still, in the back of her mind, believe he is out there somewhere (like we all do...and don't lie, I know you do...even if you do have a significant other!)
I don't know if the bloggers have noticed this but Grey is somewhat of a baby o'phobe...so if she does make comments on this blog, which I imagine she will, they should be HILARIOUS! Just gonna throw that out there Grey! *Note from Grey: Oh my gah, the pressure...you just predicted I would be funny. You have doomed all the comments from me on today's post. Don't you know that I have the blogger version of erectile dysfunction, and if we do all this talk, talk, talking about being funny, I WILL HAVE PERFORMANCE ISSUES???!!I thought you would be more sensitive to this, Andee...*
So this is my confession....I'm going to spoil my new niece with Twilight stuff....does anybody have any objections? Let me know what y'all think because the corruption starts today, at like 2:00 this afternoon, so if its a NO you better let me know quick!!!!
Last picture I've seen as of today, she's smiling because I'm coming to see her! *Note from Grey: And because you're bringing her fresh brains.*
Final note from Grey: I do not think that River looks like an alien. I just think ALL babies look like aliens...River is actually a very cute baby. I just hope she's polite. There's nothing I hate more that a baby with bad manners.