Twilight: There When You Need It Most

I’m hungry.

I’m usually always hungry, except for the 30 minutes directly following a meal. After that, I’m ready to get my snack on until the next meal. Except at breakfast. I never want breakfast. Unless it’s breakfast for dinner. Then it’s delicious.

So because Andee and I are both hostesses for a baby shower this weekend, I wanted to get some really, REALLY yummy stuff for the shower. We’re talking sugar cookie frosted with icing yummy. But the best thing about these delicious cookies is how AWESOME they look.

EDIBLE GLITTER!!! Best. Invention. Ever.

The shower is on Saturday, and today I showed up at the bakery that makes these fantastic cookies. I knew that since they were a specialty bakery that there was a chance that they couldn’t fill my order. So even though I was prepared, it did sting a little when the lady behind the counter gave me that scrunched up face that people give you when they’re about to tell you “no”.

Cookie Lady: *scrunchy "no" face * Sorry, we usually need about a week on cookie orders.

Me: Oh, well, that’s ok. I understand.

*My Thoughts: Geez, Grey, you are such an idiot. They are probably booked solid for like a week. Way to blow it. You suck at showers.* (I’m mean to myself sometimes.)

Cookie Lady: Well, you know, we have to bake the cookies…….

*My thoughts: Yeah……?*

Cookie Lady: ….then we have to let the cookies cool…..

*My Thoughts: Why are you telling me how to bake cookies, lady?*

Cookie Lady:…..then we have to let them harden……

*My thoughts: …………….*

Cookie Lady: …..then we have to ice them. *looks at me like I totally understand*

*My Thoughts: I don’t understand.*


I am not bitchy in real life. In real life, I told the cookie lady that their cookies were wonderful and I was sorry that I missed out on ordering them in time. I told her thank you, and have a nice day. I am a polite, genteel Southern young lady…

…who is wondering WHY IN THE HECK IT WOULD TAKE ONE WHOLE WEEK TO a) BAKE COOKIES, b) COOL COOKIES, c) HARDEN COOKIES, and d) FROST COOKIES??!!??!!

I could do that in 4 HOURS. Yes, they would look like poo, but would I need an entire week’s notice to produce the poo cookies? NO.

It would have been no problem had she told me that they were booked up and that they wouldn’t have time to fill my order. But to basically pretty much tell me that it took you a week?
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL ME WEEK-OLD COOKIES, LADY?

I want fresh cookies. One day old, TOPS. But if it is going to take you a week to do them, then no….I don’t want your week-old cookies.

So now I have to find alternative cookies. But until I can schlep myself to another bakery, I had to find something yummy that would tide me over until then.

Turns out Twilight solves everything.

Twilight Candy that I can use to fill the void left by the tasty frosted sugar cookies:

No, I can't.

Edward, what are you looking at?! Your Heart's Desire is to your left. Gah, vampires.

So......I'm going to have to go with ice here, people. Because fire would burn your mouth. Duh.

I hate Sweethearts. I love Sweet Tarts. But sadly, they are not the same thing.

Even better Void Fillers (that's what she said)--Twilight EYE CANDY!

I feel much better now.