Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Bella Gets Me Firemen. You Heard Me.

Today, I have a hair appointment. I love my hair the way it is right now--the color, the length, everything--but lately I have been thinking about changes. Just thinking, though. I would love to have red hair, but would hate to dye my hair. I am also thinking about bangs. I already have them now, but they are side swept. I am thinking about full bangs, like the kind I had in middle school. But better.

So with the red hair and the bang questions, I visited and did their Hollywood makeover thing. Which is actually REALLY cool and works pretty well. I tried bangs, and red hair, and brown hair, and bobs and updos and curls.

But what was really awesome was that they had a Kristen Stewart hairstyle you could "try on." No, it wasn't the mullet....and quite frankly, it wasn't a real "hairstyle," it was just KStew's naturally awesome hair before she mulleted it. (Hmm...that word looks a lot like the word "mutilated" if you squint your left eye while holding your hand over your right one. Coincidence???? By the way, stop doing that if you're at work, people are going to think you're weird.) But Kristen Stewart plays Bella Swan, and now was my chance to see what I would look like with Bella Swan hair.
This is pretty....average looking, if you ask me. I would rather see what I would look like with a mullet.

I am totally grabbing Rob's tushie in this picture. Don't hate--it's exactly what you would do, too.
All this "Kristen/Bella" transformation made me think about something that happened to me last fall, when I realized I was a lot closer to Bella than I thought.
I am an average looking girl. I am pretty, I admit it, since you are are virtually twisting my arm here. But I am nothing that men stop and stare at. I have no boobs, I'm short, my legs look like Britney Spears'. I don't dress sexy. don't really hit on me. (Except for the comic nerds when they find out that I am a fellow comic nerd--then they yell out loud in the middle of a crowded mall "You like COMIC BOOKS? But you're HOT!" Best day of my life.)

So in the course of my job, I was around a group of firemen. I had to work with them for about 2 or 3 weeks. In the entire course of the project, they never once hit on me. That's fine--I've got a fiance, I look I'm 12, I totally get it.

But one day, one of the firemen meets me out in the parking lot as I'm struggling to get out of my car. I always struggle to get out my car. I also struggle getting into my car, going through doors, walking with things in my arms....basically anytime some grace and smoothness would be a plus, I totally eat it. Drop stuff, get stuck in my seat belt, whatever. It's not pretty.

So the fireman kind of deadpans with me: "Need any help there?" like it's totally obvious that I do. And I tell him no, that I'm just always this awkward. Pretty much all the time. And then he gives me this look, like someone flipped a light switch in his brain. He laughed, carried my things, and we went to work.

And then later that night he texted me.
It was SO WEIRD. I wasn't doing or wearing anything more (or less) than I had in the past. It was the next day that I realized: It was the awkward, helpless, but determined attitude. It was being Bella. Imagine an adorable tiny kitten who was trying its best to hiss and act all tough, but what it really needs a home and some TLC. I was the kitten. I was awkward and adorable, and apparently, that was hot.

So hot, a fireman came to the rescue. Thank you, Bella.

So many "hose" jokes....

P.S. I did not pursue the fireman. I have a lovely helicopter assembly hottie who is more than enough to handle. But that doesn't mean that I didn't feel awesome.


  1. Go with the mullet. It makes you look kinda like Elvis. This is a good thing. #Trust

    That fireman is hawt! When you were acting "Bella like" did you blink rapidly? Stutter a little?

    Dudes want to take care of us. Idiots. Once they get you trapped (aka marriage), they want YOU to take care of THEM. What a ridiculous concept. ;)

  2. Went with the bangs, my friend. They are treating me right so far. But if I looked like KStew, I would totally do the mullet. There are plenty of stylists around here who work in mullet the way some artists work in oil or clay.

    No blinking or stuttering....I went more with the mouth breathing thing. I think that boys think that's sexy when your mouth's a little open, although I just *can't* imagine why....

    You are totally right...boys are such girls, aren't they??