Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Wait, there are Killer Spiders in Eclipse? What the hell kind of movie is this?

To Eclipe's credit, this blurry image is the very first thing that popped up when Google image searching the word "eclipse". Good work on surpassing the popularity of the naturally occuring phenomenom that has haunted mankind for ages and also that Mitsubishi car that I used to want when I was 16.

This is it---tonight is the night we finally get to lay eyes on Eclipse! It feels just like Christmas Eve, where you know that in just a few hours something AMAZING will arrive!!!! (Jesus? Santa? Eward?) As of right now, the very second this sentence is being typed, we have only....wait.....there's a spider!!!  Hold on, I have to go get a newspaper and kill it. Ok, I'm back.....CRAP, the spider is gone. Great, now there's a killer spider hiding somewhere in my cubicle workspace. That's going to bother me all day...I freaking hate spiders.

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, at this exact second we have 8 hours until we get to see Eclipse!!!!!! Our plan is to meet up at the movie theater at 6pm, initialize our surefire seduction game plan, which is actually just having Andee flash somebody relentlessly pester one poor, unsuspecting usher until he agrees to text us the minute a line starts to form at the movie theater, run to Sam's Club (What the hell? Andee must need massive quanties of Bounty Select-a-Size paper towels), check the line at the movie theater, find a baby shower dress at the mall, check the line at the movie theater, pick up Andee's copy of the Eclipse movie companion, check the line at the movie theater, eat dinner somewhere that serves alcohol because TODAY WE NEED IT (we swear to you that if today was just a regular day and not a super awesome Eclipse premiere day this day would be one of the top five worst days of 2010 and 2010 isn't even halfway over), check the line at the movie theater, walk off the alcohol exploring all the wonders of Target, check the line at the movie theater, run out of things to do while waiting for the movie so actually go to the movie theater, park our booties in folding chairs, pull out the iPod Touch and watch Twilight while waiting for the rest of the Twihards to get there.


One more thing....I need to add Kill Killer Spider to the game plan. And I need it to go at the very beginning.



  1. You lost me at 'spider.' Shudder/cringe.

    Ok, I'm found. Have fun tonight! I'll be a few hours west of you, watching Twilight, sleeping through New Moon, eating too much candy, probably getting threatened with eviction due to excessive loud talking, and then experiencing what I expect to be a broad range of emotion that will leave me too exhausted to care about anything for the rest of the year. Until Harry Potter in November.

    Tweet you tomorrow! I hope we love it!

  2. You are SO LUCKY that you get to see all three tonight!! We've never seen Twilight on the big screen :(