Monday, June 28, 2010

If We Had A Cult, KStew Would Be Officially Inducted and We'd Give Her the Kool-Aid, Which Would Probably Have Butter In It.

So the internet is creepy crawly today at Grey's work, so she tweeted that it was being "slow as molassas"....and then had an epiphany that she shared with Andee.

We needed a pic of Kris. Why not use one that has Rob in it? That way we all get more Rob, and isn't that what we all want, really?

On the Eclipse red carpet, Kristen Stewart told a reporter that she is a Food Network junkie. Well, Andee and Grey can't really identify with that, per say. We freaking love food, and we really, REALLY love eating food, but cooking food? No, thank you--hunger is why God invented McDonald's.

This is where a picture should go, but when I googled McDonald's, some pretty anit-McDonald's images came up, and since I'm firmly pro-McNugget, I tried again, using "McDonald's" and "God", but then some really sacrilegious pictures came up, and I'm totally anit-sacrilege, so I said screw it and that's why there's no picture. Grey.

But it was what she said next that made us both drop dead from awesome exposure--Kristen Stewart loves Paula Deen.

Paula Deen, y'all. The Savannah, Georgia Fried Butter Queen herself. The one lady who is regularly discussed at Sunday dinners like she is one of the freaking family, as in:

Aunt J: "My goodness, this butternut squash casserole is delicious!"

G-Mother: "Isn't it, though? It's Paula's!"

...and you always turn to tell Paula how wonderful her casserole is, but she's not there because she's not even related to you and you forgot (I'm currently bowing down to Grey's awesomeness in my office...That.Is.Hilarious*Andee), but you want to tell her how awesome her casserole was anyway so your entire family goes on a pilgrimage to Savannah to eat in her restaurant and wait outside her house (the one that she actually comes out of now) just for a chance to hear that warm, friendly "Well, hey y'all !!" and maybe/possibly be invited to her cooking show and then have something that they can brag about for years and years.

Southern women have every Paula Deen cookbook, even if they don't cook (like at Grey's house). They are a household staple and are necessary to even hold your head up in our small southern towns. Paula Deen is like your momma, y'all, and Kristen Effing Stewart, that laid back chillaxed steezy LA chick gets it. It's like she's Southern, y'all. We can totally claim her now. In fact, she even has a one-up on us in the Southern Gal department--she's an avid baker. She claims to bake a mean pie, and she even baked a mini pie for her EW interviewer!!! @CalliopeBlabs is right--she really is #DomesticStew. (Unless she's actually at home getting baked and that makes her want to actually bake, but that's a whole 'nother topic, y'all.)

UPDATE: KStew is now a firey red-head! She has to change her hair color for "On the Road" and we're hoping that the red hair is just a pit stop before BLONDE STEW returns!!! Not that we don't like Brown Stew or Red Stew, we're just hoping that once she becomes Blonde Stew, she can complete her transformation into a true southern woman by making that final step to Brassy, Burnt Out Bleached Stew.


  1. First I'd like to commend you on your gratuitous use of Rob in the first pic. How well you know your readership.

    Second and finally, YES. To everything. I'm now imagining some Ya-Ya Sisterhood-type weekend retreat wherein all Southern Twi-fans and KStew cook and eat and bake and eat, all while watching Fried Green Tomatoes and every Nicholas Sparks movie ever made. I'll bring the glazed pecans.


    No, no, no. No blondestew. I like the genius of dark haired Stew.

    Umm... Paula Dean terrifies me. Her hair is just... gigantic. And fake.