Thursday, July 15, 2010

Grey's Third Eclipse Viewing: Alice Kisses with Tongue and Other Random Observations

Tuesday was my 3rd viewing of Eclipse. It will probably be my last until it comes out on DVD and I make the fiance' watch it. When you start to quote the lines along with the movie, you've had enough.

Just kidding. There's never enough Edward.

Anyway, I wanted to take notes during this viewing, but I also knew that I was going with mine and Andee's three best friends (Andee couldn't be there, sadly, because she lives in Bumf*ck, Egypt. I hear it's really hot there) and while they are all Twilight fans, none of them are BIG, BLOGGY Twilight fans like we are, so I was worried that my note taking would earn me some humilitation at the hands of at least two of them--the same two that when asked if they liked my shoes after lunch one day responded by bursting out laughing. Andee and the third friend gave me comforting hugs afterwards.

Also I couldn't find a small notebook at Target that I liked enough to stand in line for.

So I went into the movie theater unarmed, but it became apparently very quickly that there was no way I was going to be able to remember all the things in Eclipse that I wanted to talk about. My brain may be a wizard at coming up with the most random, off-the-wall things, but it suuuuuuuuuuucks at remembering them all.

So I ended up using this:

Yes, that's right. A gas receipt and the last couple of pages in my checkbook ledger. Guess I should have stood in that Target line after all.

And now, presenting Grey's Random Thoughts During Her Third Eclipse Viewing:

1. The corny "Eclipse" title card reminded me of our equally corny senior high school yearbook. Yes, it's hideous and I only have myself to blame because I was the yearbook editor that year.

2. When Bella makes it home at 4 o'clock on the dot and is sitting on the couch talking to Charlie, her soles of her shoes are realistically dirty. Her wig is also the absolute worst in this scene.

3. When the human kids are talking in the cafeteria after Alice has her vision and the scene is already fading into the police station scene, and only their voices can be heard, one of them goes "Wait, people give you money for that?" Money for what? What are they talking about? I really want to know.

4. I have no idea what this says.

 "My parents airplane?" "Riley parents airplane?" I don't know. It was really dark in the theater and I was writing on a 2 inch wide strip of gas station receipt tape, using my knee as a flat surface. You really can't blame me for not being able to decipher it. I'm actually lucky that there's only one that I can't read.

5. When the wolfpack runs out of the house to meet Bella, they look and act exactly like a group of dogs trying to get somewhere.

6. Riley seemed to really like Bella's purple comforter set from Target. Who wouldn't, right? I mean, purple's cool. If he likes it so much, he can just order it. Or do newborn baddie vamps find it too hard to qualify for a Target card? I guess showing proof of actually being alive ID may be a tiny bit difficult.

7. At the campfire, I first thought that Seth had on exactly the same hoodie as Jacob, because he looks up to him so much. But they are not the same. However, they are remarkable similar, so I think my first instinct was correct and that he was copying him. Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Unless your mocking someone. Then that's probably not flattery.

8. Sue Clearwater is a MILF.

9. Edward and Bella on the bed talking--you don't lay on the pretty pillows! Those are for decoration only! What if you messed them up with your oily scalp and it stained? Or what if you had to wash them all the time because you keep laying your head on them and they get so faded that they don't match the comforter anymore? See, this is why you don't lay on the pretty pillows. (Also, Edward my bite them.)

10. Sometimes Bella looked like she had some gray hairs. Which would be perfectly normal considering you've spent the last couple of years falling in love and associating with bloodthirsty vampires, almost being killed by a vampire, almost turning into a vampire, breaking up with the vampire love of your life, learning your best friend is a werewolf, almost getting killed by a motorcycle/cliff diving/a red headed vampire/the Volturi, having to referee fights between your returned vampire boyfriend and the werewolf you almost hooked up with, almost being killed by a newborn vampire army/a red headed vampire/freezing to death...shit, I have gray hairs just thinking about all that.

11. Bella's red shirt--the one from the book that was her "dressy" shirt--was plaid flannel. Of course.

12. I always knew the South was bad ass, considering that most of the North American Vampire Wars took place there. Yeah, we're gangsta.

13. Alice kisses with tongue.

14. Taylor's nipples are really small in comparison to his man boobs.

15. After Bella accepts Edward's proposal, when he sees her cut her finger and tells her "You're going overboard," he looks SO IN LOVE with her. That is a look I would like to see every once in a while. You know, when I was clothed.

16. The Bella/Jacob kiss is so uncomfortable and amateur-ish compared to Bella/Edward kisses that it reminded me of two high school freshmen dry humping--you know, awkward and difficult to watch without laughing. Not that I would ever watch two high school freshmen dry humping or anything.

17. One of the friends that I feared note-taking in front of realized what I was doing towards the end of the movie, but she didn't make fun of me--instead she pointed out that you never saw them burn Riley's body at the end of the movie and that I should write that down. I should never doubt my friends again. Except when it comes to clothes because they just don't understand.

18. I want to see the white t-shirt that Bella is wearing when she visits Jacob on his sick bed. I think I may want it. @kstewfashion, hook me up.

We have come to the end of Grey's Random Thoughts During Her Third Eclipse Viewing. I hope you enjoyed them. Now I have to go change out the ledger in my checkbook because the only thing you can clearly read on the entire thing is "dry humping." *sigh*

1 comment:

  1. Ooo - insightful! You are much more observant than I am. I spent my first viewing holding my breath and cringing with my eyes half closed because I was afraid of what I knew was coming - the tent scene/kiss. You were right, though. Total amateurs. Zero chemistry. O, happy day.

    RE: Edward looking so in love
    My biggest argument for why Eclipse is better than Twilight is the increased romance. I loved Twilight for that first meeting, falling-in-love feeling, but Eclipse panders to the little tween demon inside me that spent the time since then shrieking, "MOAR KISSING! MOAR WITH THE HANDS AND THE FACES SMUSHING AND MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!"

    When you find Bella's white tee and Fang finds her sunglasses from the FL scene, could you all just pick me up one, too? Super.