Just Not Enough Twilight

This weekend was a busy one for me. Good Friday was a holiday for me, so I went to see my Grandma in the nursing home down in Panama City, Florida, with my dad. Along with visiting her, we went down to the marina to look at the bay (PC is not Panama City Beach...they're actually two separate towns. PC is on the bay...PCB is on the actual Gulf of Mexico) and ate at a little Italian restaurant. Then we went to this huge block party that took up the entire downtown, where I saw really cool cars and dogs. I think cars and dogs must somehow go together, because I always see dogs at car shows. Do they have cars at dogs shows? That is an interesting question.

I saw cars. And dogs the size of ponies. It was a good day.

Saturday, I went house-hunting with the fiance' Brando. It took all afternoon. Then when we got back to my house, I was super duper excited because he had agreed to watch New Moon with me. So he did...and of course he didn't like it, and complained that I had made him watch it, and put his foot down when I tried to get him to watch the Eclipse behind-the-scenes footage and exclusive scene. He did seem interested in the Remember Me trailer, like actually, honestly interested, so hopefully, I will be able to share the joy that is Robert Pattinson with him sans Twilight. But while we were watching New Moon, he was paying attention and asking questions, and most of the questions were legitimate ones. My favorite part of watching it with him was that when Harry Clearwater died. (No, I am not some sick or twisted. Keep reading.) When Harry was on the ground, Brando went "Does he die?," and I said, "Yeah, he has a heart attack," and then Brando said, "That's too bad," like he was all concerned, and I said, "Yes, but it's very important that he dies." This intrigued Brando, who then started to come up with all sorts of guesses as to why it was important. Of course, none of his guesses were right, but they were all LOGICAL. He wasn't being stupid--he was really trying to figure out why it was important.

He was putting thought into my beloved Twilight. I love when he does that.

Favorite New Moon image because Bella gets her slutty on.

Anyway, on Sunday, we woke up early and went to sunrise Easter service on our town square. It was very nice, and peaceful. Then came a nice nap after which Brando headed home (before I could sneak in the Eclipse behind-the-scenes, confound it), and I headed to G-Mother's for Easter lunch and egg hunt. Which, by the way, I totally ruled. It was kind of hard not to, because the only other hunters were my 3-year-old cousin and my 75-year-old grandmother. Ok, I didn't find the most eggs (the 3-year-old did, but she had all the adults helping her), but I DID find the prize egg (it had $5 inside!!) AND I collected the most money--$18.35.

My G-Mother didn't find her Easter egg dye until it was too late. We just stuck stickers on white eggs and hid them. Yay, rednecks.

Sunday afternoon was spent napping on my G-Mother's couch. Lots of napping that day. Then in the evening, I watched the sprinklers come on for the first time this year (about as fun as it sounds) and watched It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown! and the beginning of Alice in Wonderland. And as I sat there on the couch at the end of a long weekend, I thought about the blog. "What can I possibly write about on Monday?" I thought. "I didn't even do anything Twilight-related all weekend."

I'm going to freeze right there, Gentle Readers, and let you use your super congnitive skills to tell me what is wrong with the above narrative.

Exactly.

I spent an ENTIRE evening watching New Moon. All 2 hours of it. AND discussing it with the future hubster.

And couldn't remember it the next day.

I could say that I'm just crazysauce, and that would explain it. That would explain A LOT, actually. Or I could go easy on myself and say that I had a very busy/sleepy day on Sunday, so forgetting that I watched the freaking sequel to Twilight on Saturday was pardonable.

Or I could say that Summit Entertainment has not given me enough new Twilight stuff to work with and that I am in serious need of more Twilight stimulation. I need to squee over new photos. I need to watch new clips over and over and over again. I need screen caps of aforementioned new scenes, dammit. Eclipse is supposed to come out in 85 days and I feel like I haven't seen ANYTHING. I need more Twilight stuff, Summit! Give us some more stuff, man. Just a little bit, just to get me thru the day.  I AM FORGETTING ABOUT TWILIGHT. This is serious. And it doesn't help to know that Breaking Dawn should be shooting this fall, or so it is rumored, but where is the DIRECTOR? What about a script? What about one movie? Or two movies? What about the second volume of the Twilight graphic novel? And WHY ISN'T THE ECLIPSE MOVIE COMPANION coming out SOONER? Really, Summit? The day before the movie is released?

Yeah, I'm gonna say it's Summit's fault. It usually is.

Happy Good Friday...Why Not Celebrate With Some TWILIGHT?

We're from the south, and Southerners know how to do two things really well: fry food and go to church. Which is funny, because as two Baptist chicks, we have plenty of opportunities to see both in action--church and food kind of go together down here. We love learning about God and getting those tiny fried chicken legs all on the same day.

But imagine our surprise when Twilight found it's way into our church lives. Twilight, our beloved book series about vampires and werewolves, borderline stalker boyfriends, girls trying to seduce the dead...it doesn't seem exactly Biblical. On the surface, that is....

It all started when....

One day a couple of months ago Andee was in church reading a church magazine when something on the front cover struck her as ODD....it said "Do you have Twilight Fever?"...she almost fell off her pew (which would have been totally embarassing)! But she looked at the contents and flipped to the page. It was an AWESOME article! She actually typed it out in an email and sent it to all of her friends whom she had "turned".

Here's a quote from the article she read "Linger for a moment on Edward--a gorgeous man who fiercely protects and passionately loves Bella. He sees the beauty and potential within her. He denies his own gratification to wait for what's best for her. He's a sensitive painist, but can destroy evil beings and carry Bella to safety. He's exceedingly wealthy, but cares nothing for riches. His focus is his family and Bella--not his work, buddies, or his car. And he's good at everything...just like your husband. Oh! Yours isn't a brilliant, sensitive, strong, wealthy, capable immortal who perpetually waits for you and desires to bring out the best in you?...Mine, either!"

She loved it...it really made her like her husband again...for a minute there she thought everyone had Edward as a husband...and hers was def more of a Mike character...

She thought, this is great...I'm sure everyone in this church has read this and now we can actually DISCUSS it with other people...and it did help Andee she found at least 4 Twilight fans that day at church....

And then, last week in her church magazine there was a letter to the editor published in the front of the magazine...and by the looks of it I was not going to be a happy camper! The magazine had to write a FORMAL APOLOGY to their readers about the article because of all of the NEGATIVE feedback...to say the least Andee was PISSED...

And it got her thinking....

Is Twilight bad?...really, lets take a look at the main themes of the Twilight series:

• Carlisle was raised by a pastor, which made him rise above the nature of a vampire to become a doctor and save people, instead of EAT people...

Who loves ya Peter?...I mean Carlisle...

• Bella and Edward basically have an unwanted pregnancy but decide (well really it was just Bella there) to keep the baby...

• EDWARD IS A 109 YEAR OLD VIRGIN PEOPLE!!!! There may be kissing, but there is no "getting it on" until they're married. Now Bella did get all slutty at one point, yes, but Edward kept her virtue intact along with her shirt!

Btw Andee's favorite picture...such a hotness monster!

• Look at the phenomena that sourrounds the book series... A BUNCH of people with the same interest a very good witnessing tool...

• And you can't forget this little gem...Stephenie Meyer is a Mormon. We don't know that much about Mormons, but we imagine they are kind of like Baptists, but stricter. They do have an entire extra book added to the Bible, after all, and encourage all the unmarried men to go out and do missions. So we could safely say that the author of Twilight is a pretty religious chick. SHE FREAKING TEACHES SUNDAY SCHOOL. (Fun fact: Kiowa Gordon--Embry Call--was in her class! That's how he got to be in New Moon.)

Basically, we've come to the conclusion that Twilight is not bad. I mean, it's not like these books make people crazy or anything, or make them want to write daily blogs about how awesome they are, or make people fall in love with fictional characters, or cause people to shell out hundreds of dollars to meet even the minor characters of the movies, or create hotly contested debates as to which team is the best team, or if two people do or don't date, right?...




Oh, crap....

Nevermind.

"Bonfire Night with Bella!"

Looking at the new Eclipse stills that were released the other day, we oooh'ed over the Cullen Clan, ahh'ed over Edward's sideburns, and meh'ed at Bella's wig in that one picture. But we actually paused at the picture of Bella and Jacob. The still is obviously from the campfire scene, where Billy Black reveals the ancient legends of the Quileute tribe. As they sit around the fire, entranced by the tale, Bella can "see" the stories take place in her mind's eye. It's also the origin of Bella's martyr-complex in Eclipse, but that's another post.

It was a touching moment, where Bella really and truly understands the responsibility, the duty involved in being a member of the wolfpack.

It just reminded us of our high school bonfire field parties.

The picture made us pause because it looked familiar. You see, where Andee and Grey grew up, there wasn't much to do. We didn't have any money, so we couldn't spend all our free time at the mall or the movies, and kids didn't hang out at Barnes and Noble and piss off adults until much later. So what we did was park our cars in the middle of an empty field and set stuff on fire.

Oh, and drink.

Annnnnnnnd make out with boys.

We know we promised you something epic for today, and for us, it is pretty epic, because we get to go back in time and relive our very first venture into the world of popularity and partying. It pretty much ends with us puking our guts out into the bushes, but oh....we were so innocent, so pure, so ready to go out and get wasted and smoke cigarettes (btw Andee NEVER smoked cigarettes because she doesn't want CANCER...GREY!) and dance innapropriately to rap music.

But since we promised you epic, and you probably don't want to hear about how we lost our party virginity, we're going to change the story up a little bit.

We're going to invite Bella and Jacob along with us.

It was a cool fall night in southeast Alabama. Five friends have gotten permission from all their parents to go to their very first field party. This was a very big deal...the first party where there were NO parents, NO potties, and NO RULES. Just ol' fashioned, irresponsible fun. Of course, our parents thought there were would be marshmallows and weenie roasting, not beer drinking and pot smoking (which technically Grey never got high...and Andee never tried...and Andee just found out her bff Grey did try it. You never know about people). Parents don't know anything...

The girls are in the 9th grade, so young....fresh meat, if you will. Bella Swan is the new girl at school, and already everyone is falling for her. You can kind of tell why...come on, she totally looks hot in this picture. It's like she has a wind machine following her around everywhere she goes, tossing those shiny brown locks everywhere. And don't get us started on her freaking perfect complexion...you have to admit, she gives great face in pictures.

Actual Picture from our first Field Party (We actually can't remember if Bella was there or not...It was that kind of night.)

But we were happy to be in her company...that means we'd get lots of attention by association. Which was fine, because we were all just relentless social-climbers anyway. Why else would we be heading to an upper-classman party in the middle of a field?

We spend two hours getting ready, everyone sharing clothes, putting on make-up, fixing their hair, hating what they have on, re-fixing their hair. Bella doesn't really do any of this...in fact, she looks kinda bored and keeps staring out of the window, like there's something out there. It's a little creepy, honestly. We try to distract her by talking about that Cullen guy that she seems to be hanging out with, but she's pretty tight lipped. Maybe we can get her drunk and then she'll talk.

Then we spent two hours waiting for someone to pick us up. Because we can't drive.

Then when someone FINALLY shows up to get us, it's a boy, because at our school, girls are really ageist and would never offer to pick up five freshmen girls and take them to a party. Normally, a boy picking you up for a party would be great. Except that he was picking us up in his pick-up truck.

A pick-up truck that only seats three. And there are five of us. Which means Grey, Andee and one of the other girls had to hitch a ride with someone else. So we asked Grey's dad to drive us.

To a field party.

Because we wanted to be at that party so badly, we let a 50 year old father, who still to this day doesn't know his daughter drinks occasionally, drive the remaining girls into the country in his company car.

Which was a white Mercury Grand Marquis. Yes, that's right....Grey's dad took us to a underage-drinking field party in what was, essentially, A COP CAR.

We almost didn't make it out of the driveway. Not because we were embarrassed to be going to a field party in a car that looks exactly like an unmarked cop car driven by Grey's father. No, it was because Andee had forgotton to put on her seatbelt, and Grey's dad wouldn't move the car an inch until she did. But he didn't tell her that. We just sat there for a full minute before Andee asked why we weren't moving.

When we finally made it out of town and into the country, Grey's dad missed the entrance to the field, probably because that stupid kid in front of him thought he was a cop and just drove on past it. When we realized that we should turn around and go back, Andee offered a friendly suggestion to turn around in someone's driveway.

Grey's dad really didn't appreciate the suggestion very much.

(To be fair to Grey's dad, he was having to chauffeur his only child--his sweet baby girl--to a field party, so he was probably entitled to be a little grumpy.)

After being dropped off, we hitched a ride on someone's truck tailgate and rode into the party. The other girls were already there, and Bella had already gained an admirer. They were talking and laughing, and he was really hot, but she still looked kind of lost most of the time. And was still doing that stare into the woods thing. Creepy.

B: "This party is just not as exciting as that time those vampires were trying to kill me."

As Bella sat there talking with the cute guy, Andee and Grey decided it was time for some Zima's with Jolly Ranchers and shots of that Aftershock stuff, followed with a little bit of Goldschlager, followed by....well, nothing else because after the first Zima we were toasted. We tried and tried to break the Aftershock bottle to get the crystals inside, and then finally some valiant drunk dude came and busted it open for us. So we ate cinnimon crystals out of a broken glass bottle for a while, and then Andee wandered off so Grey sat down near the bonfire next to Bella and her hottie, who turned out to be named Jacob.

Grey must have been really, REALLY wasted because she could have sworn they were talking about werewolves and vampires and someone called the "third wife." Then they talked about some dude named Harry and his fish fry, which made Grey really hungry because she loves fried catfish. Grey looked up across the bonfire to see Andee try and take a seat on a beer cooler, only to fall backwards off the cooler and smack her head on someone's open tailgate (true story).

Yeah, we were smashed.

Grey had to go pee, so she headed out into the woods. Peeing outdoors is really hard. It's even harder when you're tanked. And she kept hearing all these weird noises. It sounded like an animal, breathing heavily. Like, a really big animal. Or it could have been some perv with asthma. It was scary either way, so Grey hurried back to the campfire.

When she returned, Andee was standing at the bonfire, looking into it like she was dazed. Grey pulled her away from the fire and all the people. Andee was sobbing uncontrollably, and Grey was really worried.

Grey: What's wrong?

Andee: I have something to tell you.

Grey: What is it?

Andee: Promise you won't be mad.

Grey: Ok, I won't be mad.

Andee: You're gonna be mad.

Grey: I'm not going to be mad, I swear.

Andee: I.....I just......I just made out with your ex-boyfriend, Zach.

Grey: That's all?

Andee: Yes.

Grey: Oh, wow. I thought you had gone off and had sex with a bear in the woods or something. No, I'm not mad.

Bella: They're NOT bears!

Andee and Grey: Huh?

Bella: Nevermind.

*Note from Grey: I really wasn't mad. The dude she drunkenly made out with and I had broken up the year before. But he was my first love, and I still Facebook stalk him to this day, so I guess I could've called Andee a giant slut and never spoken to her again. But I didn't, cause I love her. (*Note from Andee: And because I called you and couldn't even speak I was crying so hard and you though someone had died instead of making out with your ex.*) Plus, she made out with a ton of people, and I was bound to have dated one or two of them, so it was going to happen eventually anyway.*

*Note from Andee, I regret to tell the blog stalkers that the situation was SOOO payback, because in middle school every boy I liked turned out to like Grey instead, and everytime I thought I would get asked to the 8th grade prom by the boys I liked, they asked Grey and then I CRIED... thanks Grey, thanks ALOT*

The party was winding down. Andee had stopped drunkenly sobbing and Grey had thrown up, so they both felt much better. Now to find a ride home. That hunky Jacob kid offered to take us back in his car. We walked over and he got in, but Bella, Grey and Andee stood outside the front passenger door, huddled in a chick conference, debating on who would ride up front with Jake. We didn't understand why Bella didn't want to ride up front with Jacob.
 
Andee: The dude is hot. He was talking to you all night. Why won't you ride in the front?
Bella: *looks nervously into the woods*
Grey: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Bella: Nothing. I don't want to sit up front with Jake because *mumbles something that sounds like "he's watching me"*
Andee: I'm sorry, what did you say? I can't hear you, you'll have to speak up.
Bella: I said *mumbles something else, sounds like "Greek god". Or maybe it was "jealous vegetarian vampire boyfriend"*
Grey: We still can't hear you. Talk louder.
Andee: You know what? I'll sit up front. Jacob is freaking fine.
Grey: Maybe you'll make out with him, too.

If It Ain't Midnight Sun...

Today's big news is that Stephenie Meyer--completely and totally out of the blue (or gray, if you live in Forks)--announced that she will release a new novelette (is that like a novel omlette?) entitled "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner" and will chronicle what it was like for Bree from Eclipse to be a newborn vampire.

Here are the emotions we felt, in the order we felt them:

1. WTF?
2. New Twilight material. That's kind of neat....
3. .....but it's about Bree? That little newborn from Eclipse?
4. WTF?
5. Cheese and crackers, I'm hungry. Is it lunch yet?
6. Why is Stephenie writing new Twilight stuff......hey, wait a minute.....WHERE THE HELL IS MIDNIGHT SUN?

While we are just THRILLED that Stephenie Meyer, who has stated (as Andee so very correctly pointed out) that she wanted to be away from the Twilight world for a while, has contradicted herself and brought us some new Twilight noms to munch on, the only question on so many people's minds today is WHAT ABOUT MIDNIGHT SUN?

Steph, listen. We love you. Your brain was the very birthplace of our beloved Edward, Bella and Jacob. You created this fantastic world that makes rational, sane, NORMAL people want to actually check out of the Hey, Reality Really Isn't That Bad Motel and check into your Twilight Hotel of Wonderfulmentness and Wish Fulfillment. (Even though riding the elevators makes you sick, you still get an Edward or a Jacob--or a Bella, for that matter--on your pillow each evening, so it's worth it.) YOU ARE THE MOMMA OF TWILIGHT. You made this all possible. But we. only. want. Midnight Sun.

Stephenie, you are awesome. You are SO AWESOME, in fact, that we are pretty sure there's NOTHING that you can't do. We bet you could:

1. Discover the cure for cancer
2. Bring peace to the Middle East
3. Acheive worldwide nuclear disarmament
4. Fix healthcare. We mean REALLY fix it. Like, to the point where EVERYONE is happy with it.
5. Find the perfect renewable energy source
6. Travel to Mars on a spaceship you built in your backyard.
7. While on Mars, discover the existence of alien lifeforms.
8. Recover the Holy Grail.
9. Unearth the lost city of Atlantis. The real one, not the resort-vacation one.
10.Find out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop *Note from Andee: Grey totally put "Tootie Pop" instead of "Tootsie Pop" and I had to correct her. I almost didn't because it would have been funny. *

You could do all these things, Stephenie Meyer, and you would be celebrated by the entire world. We would cheer you, toast you, pat you on the back, throw you a ticker tape parade. You would be hailed, applauded, and just plain lauded. But when all the celebrations were finished, we would still ask you....

"But what about Midnight Sun????"

Finish the book, Stephenie. FINISH THE BOOK. THEN you can work on the Tootsie Pop thing.

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootie Pop?"  We swear this is not *that* type of blog.

It's Monday, so We're Just Gonna Phone This One In

Monday's are always rough days. You'd think we'd be all refreshed, rejuvenated, recharged by the previous weekend, but no, we're not. You'd also think that we'd have all that free time to come up with totally awesome things to blog about, but that would be another "negative".

So because we don't use our free time wisely, and because we're habitually lazy, you good people suffer.

Today as Grey drove home for lunch thru massive amounts of highway construction at a slower-than-a-snail's pace, she let her mind wander into Twi-La-La Land, a magical place where Edward and Jacob (and sometimes Bella) exist right alongside our own world. She was moving at about -5 miles an hour, and her Mickey D's was getting cold. Only Edward could save her from soggy french fries:

Make Believe Situation in Grey's Head, brought to you by the Alabama State Road and Bridge Department's Everlasting Construction on US Hwy 431:

It's a cold, cloudy day in Headland, Alabama. The perfect day for Edward and I to be out in public together. It's so freaking sunny here we hardly get the chance. It would be the perfect day....if only we weren't stuck in my non-Volvo in construction traffic.

Grey: Oh my gah, this is ridiculous. I only have like 45 minutes to eat lunch. My McDonald's Six-Piece Chicken Nugget Value Meal is going to be cold by the time we get to my house. Which I could hit with a rock from here. Which is totally an analogy as to how close we are to my house versus how long it will take to get to said close house because WE'RE. NOT. MOVING.

Edward: I understand analogies, my love. But you couldn't hit your house with a rock from here. You have weak, ineffectual arms.

Grey: Why are you so freaking calm? And why are you quoting Grey's Anatomy? Do you think that's funny b/c my name is GREY? And it's "fists" by the way, "weak, inneffectual fists." Anyway, we are moving like NEGATIVE 5 MILES PER HOUR. Edward, we are going so slow we are literally going back in time. I will be a high schooler again soon, which will be great because then I won't feel so creepy about a 25-year-old dating a 17-year-old.

Edward: Grey, I'm 109. So a) it's not creepy, and b) I'm used to things moving slowly. It's part of that eternal existance thing.

Grey: Well, maybe I shouldn't be dating such an old man. It's gross.

Edward: Stop quoting movie lines. The only person who thinks it's funny is the person doing the quoting. And if I can't quote Grey's Anatomy, you can't quote that stupid vampire movie.

As I pout, Edward looks over at me, with that adoring gaze that I would normally find annoying if he were a normal, mortal man. But since he's Edward Freaking Cullen, I like it. Then he gets that mischevious look that I normally associate with something else entirely, and rolls down the driver's side window. He flings his arm up towards the roof of the car and then--BAM!--he's gunning the engine and speeding out into the median, bypassing all the traffic. I turn from staring flabergasted at him to look out the windshield, only to be face-to-face with a giant dump truck full of gravel, only to be just as suddenly not face-to-face with the gravel truck, because we are now weaving in and out of the lanes, around non-moving cars, past that stupid grinder machine that always spits rocks at my car, leaving behind in our dust--ironically enough--the street sweeper that always kicks up dirt and mucks up my car when I'm helplessly stuck in traffic.

Then we're in a turn lane, zooming thru my subdivision, and pulling up in front of my house. All this has taken what seems like seconds. My Mickey D's McNuggets are saved. I turn to offer Edward a grateful hug when I hear a *thud* on the roof of my house, with a few *knocks* and *pings* as a quarter-sized rock rolls off the house and into the driveway.

Grey: Is that....?

Edward: ....a rock? Yes. Turns out you were right. You could hit your house from there.

Sometimes I could just kill him...again.

So, what do you guys wish that you could do with Edward? Other than have sex with him, of course. We don't think we would like to have vampire/human sex with Edward, because he's cold and the last thing we like is cold hands or feet in bed. Super mood killer. But we never said anything about Rob Pattinson. Do you want Edward to get you thru traffic faster, too? Or how about taking him to school with you so that you can know all the answers for the test? Would you want him to clean the bathroom drain, cause all that yucky hair is gross? What would you want Edward to do for you?

Again, for you.......not to you.

*Note: This story is completely fabricated. Because obviously, McDonald's french fries don't get soggy. There are enough preservatives in those bad boys to keep them stiff for WEEKS. They are the Viagra of Fast Food Fries.

So Did I tell Y'all I Have My First Niece? Subtitled: Grey is totally going to "photobomb" Andee's post because she left it on Blogger for Grey to edit. Hee hee hee...

I would like to formally present to all our bloggy friends....my First Ever For REAL Niece, River! Here she is....she's totally cute!

This was when she was first born! *Note from Grey: Newborn babies are aliens from outer space, who have mind control powers. Why else would perfectly normal adults start talking in crazy spastic monkey voices? Because it amuses the baby aliens...*

And I'm going to corrupt her...don't think badly of me, I promise I love her, BUT I VOW RIGHT NOW SHE WILL BE A TWILIGHT FAN WITH ME!!!

If you haven't noticed by our fake blogger names....we are kinda somewhat sneaky Twilight fans. Only our closest friends know, and almost none of them know we have a blog about Twilight. *Note from Grey: A few of our friends wouldn't understand, so it's really in our best interest to keep it on the DL. I don't want to have to go through the Twilight version of "Your shoes are ugly."* Our husbands/fiances did find out and they make fun of us all the time, but they don't read it...which is fantastic...because we talk about them frequently! *Note from Grey: I'll say it to Brando's face. I ain't scared...Brando is my fiance. We're getting married this year! But more importantly, I'M GETTING A HOUSE! Also equally important, I'm NOT getting a baby.*

She's already a rock star!

Anyway, my new niece is 1 week and 5 days old. Her hair looks like a punk rocker and I have to say she kinda looks like me and my brother when we were born, except for the hair. (We didn't have hair until we were 3 years old. People thought I was a boy. I had earrings at 6 mths old and they STILL thought I was a boy....)

Isn't she cute? *Note from Grey: This "cute face" is in fact the face baby aliens make in anticipation of feasting on your brains. It's only because they are weak and have inferior motor skills that they can't reach your head to devour what's inside. Lesson learned here: Don't let babies near your head.*

I now tell my motives with my niece...she is going to be my OFFICIAL excuse to buy really embarassing Twilight Saga memorabilia!

I've already decided I'm going to start reading her Twilight whenever I go see her, starting with the first, but Grey has informed me not to read her Breaking Dawn because that might REALLY scare her! But I might still do it! *Note from Grey: NO! She will be afraid of dogs FOREVER!*

River: "I have fingers, y'all!"

And I'm going to probably ruin her love life forever, which I'm not incredibly proud of, because she is going to grow up believing Edward is real! But he's not, and no matter how many times I tell this kid that he doesn't exist, she will still, in the back of her mind, believe he is out there somewhere (like we all do...and don't lie, I know you do...even if you do have a significant other!)

I don't know if the bloggers have noticed this but Grey is somewhat of a baby o'phobe...so if she does make comments on this blog, which I imagine she will, they should be HILARIOUS! Just gonna throw that out there Grey! *Note from Grey: Oh my gah, the pressure...you just predicted I would be funny. You have doomed all the comments from me on today's post. Don't you know that I have the blogger version of erectile dysfunction, and if we do all this talk, talk, talking about being funny, I WILL HAVE PERFORMANCE ISSUES???!!I thought you would be more sensitive to this, Andee...*

So this is my confession....I'm going to spoil my new niece with Twilight stuff....does anybody have any objections? Let me know what y'all think because the corruption starts today, at like 2:00 this afternoon, so if its a NO you better let me know quick!!!!

Last picture I've seen as of today, she's smiling because I'm coming to see her! *Note from Grey: And because you're bringing her fresh brains.*

Love,

Andee

Final note from Grey: I do not think that River looks like an alien. I just think ALL babies look like aliens...River is actually a very cute baby. I just hope she's polite. There's nothing I hate more that a baby with bad manners.

New Moon Deleted Scenes Breakdown...from the mind of Andee...

Okay...so the breakdown....some are funny antics and some are realistic...I go back and forth so hang in there!

Bella’s Birthday Cake - Okay I really didn't care that that scene was cut...it didn't do it for me :)

Driving Home From Party- I really liked the acting skills in this one, they did a good job portraying what was in the book. I def wouldn't have minded seeing this scene in the movie!

Walking in the Woods - This was HILARIOUS to watch, you hear all of these spooky, scarey sounds and see absolutley nothing, always hate seeing the deleted scenes without the wolves in them, its very nonclimatic!

Charlie Puts Bella to Bed- I applaud Kristen's acting skills in this scene, did NOT like the upside down camera angle...kinda made me sick, BUT if this scene was left in it would have made the Month's Changing In Chair scene a little less gutwrenching...

Bob’s Bikes- It wasn't a huge important scene BUT it would have been nice if Bella had a scene in between her pulling up at Jacob's with the bikes, their really wasn't a real explanation how she got them!

Bike Crash - (Don't you love the picture?) Watching this scene made me think that a car was passing this poor injured biker dude, and just staring and not stopping to help, in my head i was screaming "HELP THE POOR GUY!" and I kept waiting for Victoria to pop out because i thoughyt she was the one that caused the guy to wreck, but no such luck!

Bella’s Nightmare and Chat with Charlie - THAT IS THE WEIRDEST scene I HAVE EVER SEEN IN ANY TWILIGHT MOVIE EVER! THAT WAS MORE BATHOS THAN THE MONKEY REFERENCES IN TWILIGHT!

Remembering the Meadow - I kinda liked this scene, kinda wished it was in there. I will take seeing Robward have the wonky legs in the meadow anyday!

Mike Left at Cinema - THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!! and that is totally Mike Welch's personality, from what we saw at Twicon2010...well played Mike Welch, well played! (Just have to add, he looks SOOOO much better as a brunette)

I’m Here if You Want to Talk - I love it! I just think Billy Burke steals every scene he's in....he's a good actor

And the final deleted scene:

Victoria Driving - "Like sand through the hourglass, so are the Days of Our Lives"....cue corney music....SCENE!
V: Oh, me and James loved to hunt eachother....blah, blah, blah...
I CAN'T EVEN FINISH THE IMAGINERY DIALOGUE! No wonder this was Melissa Rosenberg's favorite scene....it was the WORST for sure! I felt like I was watching a soap, and the people in the car were awful actors....my goodness...I'm applauding Chris Weitz for deleting this scene as I write....which is kinda hard to do!