Thursday, May 13, 2010

Tonight, Everything Will Be Alright

This week hasn't been fantastic. Tuesday I had a tummy ache that lasted until Wednesday, which made me miss my important out-of-town meeting. The tummy ache morphed into---and I have NO CLUE how this happened--an effing cold, so today one of my nostrils is completely clogged. Thank God for small favors, least I can breathe out of the other nostr....oh wait, that one is slowly clogging, too. To top off all that disgusting personal information, my home loan didn't approve, so now we're back to square one--looking for another property. All I want to do is be able to get married and have a home so that I can have sex all night long with my husband start a family become a real adult decorate it.

Sad face.

But NO, I say. I will NOT be Debbie Downer. I will not wallow in self-pity. I will not cry. I will not have mad temper tantrums. I will not go and buy myself something shiny. (Ooooh, that sounds fun. Maybe I will.)

"Why not, Grey?" you ask. Thank you for asking that, because that question was exactly what I needed to set up my next paragraph.

Because tonight, gentle readers, at the stroke of midnight (ok, so technically tomorrow) Eclipse tickets go on sale on Fandango. And I will be sitting up--Kleenex shoved up my one nostril, popcorn in lap, credit card propped up on the keyboard, Coke in one hand and mouse in the other--waiting to buy those bad boys. For me and my best friend in the whole wide world, Andee.
Fandango. Apparently it makes you good to go. Go where, Fandango? To the bathroom? To the Bahamas? Where, Fandango, where?

What kind of Twilight superfans would we be if we didn't already have this epic event planned, y'all? I mean, we're probably already two months behind all the superduperfans, but hey, we've got busy lives and clogged nostrils. We're going to get our tickets now, relax until June 29th, show up at the movie theater like 5 hours early, with bag chairs and an iPod Touch with Twilight AND New Moon loaded on that puppy, and wait patiently to see shouty Edward and tongue-rapist Jacob. When the little girl fans start to get on our nerves, we'll start playing tricks on them, talking about how excited we were to be able to get the special Amazon Pre-Order On Tuesday June 8th At 12:15am Exactly with American Express ONLY Edition of the Eclipse soundtrack, becuase Mr. Boombastic was the exclusive bonus song, you know, from the secret scene that plays after the credits in which Bella tries to seduce Edward by giving him an awkward striptease while "Mr. Boombastic, clearly fantastic" plays in the background.
Which Mr. Ro-ro-ro-mantic will she choose?

So whatever you do, DON'T LEAVE THE THEATER, no matter what kind of dirty looks or threats to be escorted off the premises the theater ushers give you.

So I'll be on the Tweeties tonight, Forkheads, ordering my tickets and making this week worthwhile.

Maybe I'll even have a little picture for you...

UPDATED: With picture! While waiting for midnight, my sniffles persisted. So Mini New Moon Edward brought me a Kleenex.

For me?

Oh, Edward! They even have ALOE! You are the best boyfriend/pretend boyfriend/action figure ever!

P.S. I am deeply sorry for these pictures. G.


  1. Thanks for getting that song stuck in my head. AGAIN.

    I won't be buying tickets. Our theater isn't a fandango theater. That makes me sad. I'll buy them a week before and my entire family will laugh at my megafangirling. If they only knew...


  2. Please, by all means, tell them about us and our absurdness so that they will go easy on you. What are we here for, if not to take the world's ridicule upon our own shoulders?

    Whoa. That was heavy. I gotta go finish Grey's Anatomy to get light again.