I put red sticks over our eyes because BR means "red stick." Also because I'm at work and can't photoshop the forks over our faces. Sigh. Anonymity is hard sometimes.
It's also true that while there, I met Robert Pattinson and he fell madly in love with me and we ran away together to the South of France. As I type, I am staring out the window of our palatial love nest at the beautiful...umm.... southness of....well, France.
Ok, that's not true. I would totally not be on the computer if I was sharing a palatial love pad with Robert Pattinson. Not unless we were, you know, on the computer.
But we did go to the Red Stick. And it was the farthest west I've ever gone. Seriously, y'all, I had never even been into Mississippi, although I did have to spend a whole week learning to spell it in 3rd grade. The trip started out with me and Andee talking non-stop over some rockin' Christmas tunes, which normally makes our trips just fly by. Not this time. After 40 bazillion hours on the road, we stopped for lunch. Another 5000 googillion hours later, we were in Mississippi, where we waited, at a complete standstill, for what later looked like absolutely nothing at all.
Traffic jam. Totally standing still on the interstate. Could have gotten out and danced naked on that semi flatbed. But we didn't...
Finally, FINALLY, we rolled into Louisiana. And we got off that miserable little stretch of road called I-10, only to be told by that little punk Garmin that we still had 85 more miles to go to Baton Rouge. We went ballistic and literally had to pull over and check another map. That pit stop went a lil' something like this:
There was no effing way it was another 85 miles!!!! 30 miles, tops. It was only like *holds fingers close together* this far away on the map! For real, I cannot ride in this car for another 85 miles. I will scream and tear off your rearview mirror. There's got to be somethign wrong with your Garmin. It's defective. Or deluded. Whatever, it's just wrong. Seriously, it cannot possib---holy shit, it IS another 85 miles.
What choice did we have but to drive on? It helped to see that Robert was only just a little bit further down the road--
To be continued...