We Have No Will Power or Self-Control. Sadly, Diets Don't Work, But Thank God We Never Tried Hard Drugs.

Forkheads, we just couldn't help ourselves. After endless listens in the car and concerts in the shower, we have succumbed to the temptation to try to place the Eclipse soundtracks songs in the movie, even after the utter FAIL that was New Moon soundtrack guessing game. We will never forget the embarrassment of the suggestion that Lykke Li's "Possibility" was playing when Bella first sees Jacob as a potential love interest for real, while in reality it is the themesong of Bella's utter devastation and depression after Edward leaves. Obviously, we lack the subtle nuances that are required to accurately and creatively place the Twilight Saga songs in their proper places.

But we're going to do it again anyway. What the hell, right?

****Spoiler Alert!!!*****
We've actually read the leaked Eclipse script and heard that it's pretty much the same as the movie thru other Twitter folk, so you may find a couple of mini spoilers in here.

Andee and Grey Embarrass Themselves Over the Eclipse Soundtrack

Andee: first song... Eclipse (all Yours), this feels like the song on the credits, or opening, what you thinking?

Grey: it's like bella's anthem, the whole song is sung from bella's point of view, so i thought...right at the end leading into the credits MAYBE, and i say that because...the end is actually cute, not overly romantic
because she says they have to do the most dangerous part of all, tell charlie, HOWEVER, i think it is very important what she says before that, so i think there will be fancy romantic music while she explains how his world is the only place she's felt at home and then will transistion into this song, this is where i choose to place it

Andee: i'll agree with you *Grey: Probably just to shut me up!*

Eclipse (All Yours)--at the end/beginning of the credits

Grey: song number two: neutron star collision (love is forever)/longest title name in the known universe

Andee: and its kinda corny sounding...i have no clue about this one

Grey: i thought it would be a credits song

Andee: mayb so cause i can't think of anything logical

Neutron Star Destroyer Collision With the Millenium Falcon (Love is Forever)--during the credits

Andee: song number three--ours...? i like that one alot

Grey: definitely at graduation or the party

Andee: PERFECT!

Grey:  i know, i know BUT REMEMBER

Andee: don't get dissapointed right?

Grey: we think we're so good at this, and we turn out to be SO BAD

Ours--graduation/party

Andee: okay next? Song number four-- Heavy in your Arms

Grey:  i have no idea where this song will go, and it's so awesome that i dare not speculate for fear of placing it in an inferior scene than the one it truly belongs in (that sentence made me giggle)

Andee: i feel like its going to be in a serious scene

Grey: yes, and i feel like it's a scene where she puts a hard choice on edward, or a scene that is stressful for edward

Andee:: mayb when she talks to him after she kisses jacob or when jacob gets hurt, tell me your theories

Grey: ok ok ok, heavy in your arms--the very literal place it could be is when they are getting ready for battle and jacob is carrying bella to the campsite and edward is waiting, looking out from the top of the mountain, but that is tooooo easy, and i won't fall in that trap again, but just in case, i will say that if i had to choose a time (and i don't want to have to), it would be somewhere related to the tent scene, including the leading up to the tent and the after the tent *Grey: I'm pretty sure I just fell into the trap.*

Heavy In Your Arms--leading up to the tent/tent/after the tent

Andee: song number five: my love

Grey: now, at first thought i said my love was definitely the proposal scene, because it was touching and all lovey-dovey, but then i thought it was so sad, and there's this one part that's towards the end, when the violin really gets going, and i thought, "it's SAD, like when bella kisses jacob, and she see's her future with him and she starts kissing him back but then realizes that it's not right, it's not what is for her"

Andee: hmmm good imagination grey. did you read the eclipse script again?

Grey: no, i haven't read it again lately, but i've read it since you gave it back to me

Andee: oh i thought mayb you had b/c u seem to remember so much *Grey: Andee's polite way of telling me I'm a KNOW IT ALL*

Grey: nope, i'm just AWESOME

My Love--Proposal or Bella/Jacob Kiss

Andee: song number six: atlas

Grey: NO CLUE, but i bet it's wolves

Andee: yea it sounds like a bunchy of dorky werewolves hanging out or something

Grey: i agree, plus the bonus track of the atlas remix has way more drum beats in it, like tribal or something. but it could also be bella in florida

Atlas--Wolves Being Chill or Florida

Grey: song number seven: chop and change, i thought it may be rosalie killing her fiance

Andee: yea...i can see her in the wedding dress

Grey: what's half of 17, 8? *Grey: What a math genius I am...* we need to get to eight

Chop and Change--Rosalie's Flashback

Grey: song number eight: rolling in on a burning tire

Andee: BAD VAMPS

Grey: That one was easy!

Rolling in on a Buring Tire--Bad Vamps



We'll be back tomorrow with the conclusion of our Eclipse soundtrack embarrassing predictions, and there may be a little wager involved to see how many we actually get right! Which Eclipse songs are your favorites? I think Heavy is obviously one of ours!

It's Getting Hot in Here, So Take Off All Your Clothes. I'm Just Kidding. You Can Leave Your Clothes On. Unless You Don't Want To. Whatever, I'm Cool.

Shut your filthy mouth, it is hot down here. I have lots of analogies for how hot it is, but I saw "hotter'n two rats screwin' in a wool sock" on Facebook today, so I'll go with that one. I don't know if it's an originally Southern phrase, but if you drop a couple vowels, it can be adapted.

Yesterday was the day that my car decided not to crank. It was also the day my fiance' decided to be an ass, but hey...that can happen any day and doesn't necessarily coincide with car troubles. The Honda dealership suggested that I "firmly tap" some vague, phantom spot on my dash, which in my frustration may have ended up being "kicked repeated while cursed at" instead of "firmly tapped." Whoops.

What I needed was the most devastatingly beautiful vampire in existance. And I don't mean Edward.

I mean Rosalie.

Rosalie Hale: Auto Mechanic

Yes, favorite frosty bitch that she is, what I really needed yesterday was Rosalie Hale under my car, and I don't mean that I was so mad and frustrated that I wanted to run her over. I needed her super awesome mechanical skillz, yo. I don't ask her for many favors, and I pretty much leave her alone on this blog. I try not to mention how fugs her New Moon wig was, or how those jeans from the Twilight cafeteria scene are not flattering from the back at all. You know, cause I don't want to offend her--the last thing I would ever want to do is to come face to face with an angry Rosalie Hale, if coming face to face with a "real" fictional character and not her actor counterpart were possible. Come to mention it, coming face to face with Nikki Reed might be a little scary, too.

Grrr...like a tiger.

But if she could have just taken a look at my car, that would have been great. I would have ignored the impatient, condesending snorts, sighs and icy stares. I would have stayed out of her way, unless she needed me to hand her a socket wrench or something. And most importantly, I would have always remembered to say, "Yes, ma'am, Miss Rosalie, ma'am" anytime she asked me ANYTHING, even if the question was "Are you stupid or something?"

And maybe that withering, cold stare I would have gotten in response would have helped cool me off a little.

Grey

*Extra Funny for Today*

Flash Back....

Thought it would be fun to post an old email between Grey and I way before New Moon came out in theatres (way before this blog), while we PATIENTLY wait for Eclipse to come out....

Andee: Do you know that I can't stop thinking that I would LOVE to be this CATERER woman that got a call from Rob....I kinda wish I was her ALL THE TIME....isn't that sad?

Caterers...cute...but I'm pissed!

Grey: What I want to know is why the heck would Rob call the caterer? I mean, I’m sure the cupcakes were delicious, but he couldn’t tell them that at the party? AND WHY DID HE HAVE HER PHONE NUMBER?
Grey: We are about to get bombarded with Twilight stuff…it’s going to be INSANE! Only 37 more days until New Moon!!! KStew is going to be in Allure, Seventeen, Rob and KStew in Harpers Bazaar, KStew, Rob, and Taylor on Entertainment Weekly…I can’t wait!!! I am trying to find out when the Harpers Bazaar comes out—remember, that was the magazine where people said that they were going to “come out” as a couple!!!! Crazy Robsten rumors!! I love it! Ok, I read it was the December issue, which should mean it comes out in November. Really excited!

Andee: I know I really want to see that Harpars Bazaar and the EW!!!

Grey: This is one of my favorite New Moon pics so far of Edward. I like that emo look. Don’t get me wrong, I love the suits, too, but this is the emo kid I fell in love with. By the way, I bought another plaid shirt yesterday. But it’s red, so it’s at least bright. But it’s still plaid. Yep, I love rocking the plaid.

Andee: This is old rob...i like it better than his new old man clothes

Grey: And there are so many videos to watch online, but I can’t because I hate turning the volume up at work!! Grrr! I will have to watch them at home! I really need to watch the one where he’s on the show with the muppets! If you watch it, let me know if it’s awesome.

Andee: What new videos besides the muppets one?

Grey: And I need to visit the New Moon website and look at the Volturi Estate! I think I will do that now…hold on. Ok, it was pretty cool. Go visit!! I think I’m going to love Aro and Caius, but Marcus just looks weird to me. All the time.

Andee: Visited it...its pretty cool!

Grey: The more I hear about the movie “How to Be,” the more I need to see it—really, REALLY need to see it. When the quotes are “I have an erection,” and Girlfriend: “Are you lying to me?” Rob: laughs “No…a little,” you know it’s going to be funny! Plus, that video we watched was hilarious! Rob: “Are you going to my show?” Parents: “No.” Sweet.

Andee: Let me borrow it when you buy it :)

Grey: And I cannot wait to see Remember Me…the script was leaked, and I haven’t read it, but people have left clues and makes me think it’s sad. What if he dies? What if they help each other, fall in love, but don’t end up together? I think it’s going to be great! It opens on Valentine’s Day, I think?

Andee: Wanna see it too!

Grey: AHHHH! You can listen to the album on Myspace? What? I can’t listen to it!!! I am at work!!!!!!! OH NOZE!!!! I am super, super pissed. Guess what I’ll be doing at home? Chilling out to the New Moon soundtrack. For certain. Let me know how it is if you listen to it!

Andee: I can't hardly do anything with the music yet b/c I don't want to TORTURE my co-worker!

Grey: TODAY IS AN AWESOME TWILIGHT DAY!...Something is ringing in our office. It doesn’t sound like any of our phones. What the hell is ringing in my office?

Andee: God's calling you home...its the trumpet :)

Grey: “God’s calling you home. It’s the trumpet.” ...I will remember that forever, Jamie Lynn. I read that and giggled silently. Which really means I just grinned really big and in my mind, thought “HAHAHAHeeheheheHAHAHA!” Then I wanted to go and tell someone about it, because I thought it was so funny. But realized that nobody would get it, because they weren’t at my house the night that you thought that Jesus had called my mother home and we were “left behind.”...Maybe there weren’t that many videos, but I thought there were a few on Robsessed and Twicrack. Maybe more on Robsessed.....You don’t have earplugs? I may bring my earphones to work and listen to the soundtrack on Myspace. I need some New Moon. I CANNOT wait until November 20th. I am so ready, and I already have plans to go watch it again on Sunday. I will drag my Mom and Aunt, but even if they don’t go, I am going. My personal highest number of times I have seen a movie in a movie theater is only 2 and that was for X3. I went with the fiance, then went again with the Aunt. So I will be topping my personal best this year. ...I’m so pissed right now, because it’s supposed to be cool outside. And it has been cool outside, but I went outside to our parking lot because they were dedicating the country music mural that is painted on the side of our building, and the freaking sun came out. Now my boobs are sweating, and I can’t do anything about it because I can’t take my top off at work. Oh, and I’m starving because I haven’t gone to lunch yet. But that’s where I’m heading now.

Toodles!

BTW...Miss you Grey...hope your having fun on your work trip AND hope your not mad about me posting the "sweaty boobs" comment...but you all talk about my boobs all the time anyway, so it's kinda pay back :)

Guess who got to watch the MTV Movie Awards....

And guess who did'nt....Ha, Sorry Grey! I was originally going to post this yesterday, but it was a holiday for me...what holiday you ask?Jefferson Davis's Birthday...Yea the State of Alabama TOTALLY gives us that holiday...I did try to keep Grey updated Sunday night (in between the OMG's and Holy Craps)! She got more info off of twitter than she did out of me, because I was GLUED to the t.v. Just wanted to share one of my FAVORITE Holy Crap moments...

We one this award again, yo!

He's so cute I could just squeeze him, you know whata mean?

I like to tease him a little bit too!

Ooo-la-la!!!

Almost there....

Then BOOM! Cock block...sorry Rob!

It's okay KStew...I'll get you later! ;)

New Baby Cousin = Another Future Forkhead

Funny story and not Twilight related at all, but of course, I ignore that and make it Twilight related anyway.

My New Baby Cousin was born yesterday. Her name is Mahayla. It sounds like Michaela, but with a "hay" instead. Here, like this:

Yes, it's a mouthful at first, but it gets easier every time. (That is not what she said. I could never do a twss joke about my New Baby Cousin's name. Oh crap, I just did one.)

My three-year-old cousin, Julia, does a good job correctly pronouncing her words, but apparently Mahayla wasn't a word she was willing to try out. Because when Julia's mother told her about New Baby Cousin Mahayla, Julia just looked at her dubiously and said:

"I will call she Charlie."

And this was all I could think about:

Yes, I did. I just put a copstache on my New Baby Cousin. It was too easy. Even her little monitor sticker looks like a gold heart-shaped badge.

I really hope my family never finds this blog.

Grey

Test, test!

Since I'm going to be out of town at a work conference with no computer Sunday thru

Wednesday, thereby MISSING the MTV Movie Awards, I decided to get Blogpress on my iPod Touch so that I can blog while I'm in Chattanooga. I'm sure you all are looking forward to the rambling, hate-filled, vitriol-spewed post I will write as I sit staring at your tweets of how EPIC it was.

Just kidding.

Sorta.




Just testing the photo upload thingy. I'm sure Daniel Cudmore doesn't mind being used.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Cullen Insurance--Coverage Guaranteed to Last Several Lifetimes

So even with Eclipse craziness beginning, I spent this weekend in a relatively Twilight-Free zone. That was not of my own choosing, of course--I would never voluntarily pull out the Twi-V that deposits stimulating Twilight goodness directly into my veins. But with house hunting and visiting my Grandma at the beach, (i.e., spending all weekend with the fiance and the parentals), the Twi-V bag was dangerously low.

I was afraid that it would be a Twi-Free weekend after all, until I saw this:

And all I could think was "How sad..." Because Edward Cullen is frozen in time as a 17-year-old and will never be able to fufill his dream of becoming a small time insurance agent in a Florida Panhandle town (that is not even on the beach, it's on the bay. Panama City and Panama City Beach are two different animals. The more you know...)

Edward Cullen, Insurance Agent. It was a sweet dream....that can never come true. Sad face times infinity.

"So, a full coverage policy, correct? No? A no coverage policy? I'm afraid I don't....quite.......ohhhhhh."

In happier news--People, Eclipse is coming out in less than 30 days! IT'S HERE!!! We have waited impatiently and now IT'S HERE! *Does an impromptu "It's Here!" dance in my cubicle* Unfortunately, I will be out of town when all the good stuff goes down this weekend. Yes, I will miss the MTV awards. *Stops impromptu dancing and begins impromptu sobbing* Thank goodness for the iPod Touch and Youtube, or I might cancel this conference trip outright. You Twitter people will have to keep me informed and up to date on the COMPLETE AWESOMENESS that is certain to be the MTV Awards.

And if Rob should happen to announce that after the Twilight movies, he is officially retiring from acting to open his own insurance agency, don't blame me. It's not my fault he reads this blog and is highly suggestable.

Rob...come to Dothan. Find Grey. Kiss her.

Kiss her good.

Hugs and Kisses and ECLIPSE, baby!

Grey