Just a word of warning, Bella and Edward...

I know that sex is awesome and fun and feels good and leads to really hot pictures like this...

(which, by the way, you should be more careful about who you let on your computer. I mean, if MY sex pics ended up plastered all over the internet, i'd be SO EMBARRASSED. Well, maybe not if i looked like you two...)

 ....but sex--no matter how fun and good feeling and really hot--can cause THIS:

...and all the fun things that go along with it, that I won't even mention in a blog post, because it would TOTALLY gross Grey out! However, I am pregnant with a regular baby, not a half vampire/half human hybrid with razor sharp teeth that it's going to use to tear it's way out of my uterus...THANK GOD!!!

ROBSTEN4LYFE: Observations from the People's Choice Awards

Well, last night was the PCA's, otherwise known as the People's Choice Awards. Now, I'm going to stop you right there and make an executive decision--last night's PCA's now offically stands for the Pretty Crappy Awards.

Best thing that happened all night? This picture was taken.

First of all, Queen Latifah? No. Just...no. Seriously, everything I want to type, I just can't. Because eventually I would be typing the entire show's transcript. It was that bad. The only thing I enjoyed other than the Twilight parts (and no, I DID NOT enjoy watching Queen L interview R, K and T. It was the most horrific thing I've watched on television since Bama Belles.) was when it was over.

Watch all the awesome Twilight parts here at TwilightBritneyFan.com, which I love because it combines my two favorite entertainment things!

Secondly, who are these "People" who do the choosing???  The "People" chose Zac Efron over Rob and that means that the "People" have officially lost their minds and ergo, their ability to vote in the future. So next year, we're going to have the FYRCA's (Forks Y'all's RIGHT Choice Awards) instead, where every category goes to Rob. My predictions for the 2012 FYRCA's?

Best Movie: Breaking Dawn Part 1

Best Actor of All Time:  Robert Pattinson

Best Musical Performer: Robert Pattinson, for his new song on the Breaking Dawn Part 1 soundtrack (you know your fingers are crossed for that one!) PERFORMED LIVE BY PATTINSON AT THE FYRCA'S !!!!!!

Best TV Actor: Robert Pattinson, for his second appearance on Jimmy Kimmel's "Bothered" sketches

Best Actress: Kristen Stewart (but just by a nose...Robert Pattinson was in a close second place. He only lost because of his lack of vagina. So actually, I guess you would say Kristen won by a vagina.*)

At first, I was a little disappointed in the slight lack of Robsten interaction. I probably was expecting too much. I had in mind lots of eye f*cking and hand brushing thigh action. What we got was an almost handhold, lots of longing looks from Rob, and Kristen holding on to Taylor for dear life.

I was a little upset.

But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. They are obviously incredibly private people with their relationship and lives in general, and there they were, sitting in the FRONT ROW, nothing to hide behind, only the stage in front of them and cameras in their faces. Even their body postures tried to create a barrier from the horrible openness, to protect themselves. Plus, there's the fact that they were at arguably the world's more horrific awards show. So no, Kristen is not going to be at her most comfortable and they're not going to make out for my benefit. However, the looks that Rob gave Kristen all night made my little heart feel so great. Oh, to be looked at by someone the way Rob looks at Kristen. Oh, to be looked at by Rob the way he does to Kristen. Oh, to be looked at by Rob at all.

 Kristen did very well on stage, though. She had the best line of the night: "I was a vampire this morning." (They are supposed to be filming the end "battle scene" this week, so not only was she a vamp, but a kick ass vamp. Sweetness.) And massive, MASSIVE props to her rocking those heels and not falling down. I tweeted last night that I'm almost positive that Rob did not walk her up those steps because he is just as klutzy as she is. So instead Taylor walked her up the stage. Disaster averted.

Another disaster averted? Not seeing Stew's "stewie", which is now my extremely affection nickname for her vagina. (No wonder she's creeped out by some of her fans. We go around making up nicknames for her private parts. That's like the people at the mall where I walk every day making up names for my hoo-hah. I bet if they did, they'd call it "Speedy".) Seriously, her dress was short. She has the best legs I've ever seen, and so naturally, I enjoyed getting to see almost all of them, but there were a few times when I seriously thought she was about to flash us all (and actually make the PCA's interesting). Thank goodness she knows how to get around in skirts (and that Taylor was there to help put her clothes back on. Sigh. Probably the story of Taylor's life. Always back on, never off...)

And then there's Rob. Oh, Rob. You were so cute. And thank goodness, you didn't make any jokes about pooping yourself. It was so funny when you were leaning over to hear what they were saying. That and the horrible jacket you were wearing made you look like a 65 year old man. It was adorable, as was your quip that you had already broken the PCA phone. You probably did, actually.

So there's my little recap of the what was formerly known as the PCA's. Get ready for next year's FYRCA's. It's going to be awesome Robsome.

Grey

P.S. Love this.

*I'm just being funny. Stew's probably a better actor than Rob is.

Baton Rouge Part 2 (I KNOW, RIGHT?!? FINALLY.)

*Note: The first draft of this post was written before Christmas. That's how late it is. I didn't want to change the opening because the thought of you guys crying to "Christmas Shoes" with Andee is too special to delete.*

This post probably won't do anything to help catapult you into the Christmas spirit. It's actually kind of depressing. Maybe you shouldn't read it if you are feeling especially holly or jolly. Or maybe you should go listen to that "Christmas Shoes" song that always makes Andee cry first--that way, reading about how we DID NOT meet any Twilight stars while in Baton Rouge won't seem as sad.

After arriving in Baton Rouge, we dropped a carload of suitcases at the hotel and went exploring. Our first stop was Perkins Rowe, where some of the Twilight cast are rumored to be staying. We saw nada. Almost ate at the Kona Grill, peeked into the window of the Wine Loft, peed in the Barnes and Noble. I bought a shirt from J.Crew.

Where most of the cast were staying. And shopping. And eating. Just not while we were ever there.

Like I said, nada.

Then we did some maternity shopping for Andee--she put on the bump and everything. It was awesomely creepy, in that weird, "an alien is living inside your belly" kind of way. This was after I made Andee drive up and down, up and down Bluebonnet Blvd looking for a restaurant that turned out to the be Cajun equivalent of a Cracker Barrel. So much for fine Louisiana dining. (We more than made up for it the next day--I still haven't lost one of the pounds I gained.)

We headed over to the movie studio where they are filming BD. They were not filming at the time--you can imagine our absolute sadness at discovering they were shooting in New Orleans that weekend. But that meant that we could get really close to all the action. Still no Twilight stars...

The main entrance into Celtic Media Centre

We bought our Eclipse DVDs the morning they came out from Best Buy, then had a nice time at the Mall of Louisiana and then we headed to downtown BR to look at some historic buildings and the Mississppi.

The tallest capitol building in the US

The Capitol Center Hilton, where Rob and Kristen stayed before filming began

We also spent about 30 minutes wandering aimlessly up and down Third Street, looking for somewhere, ANYWHERE, to eat lunch. (We spent alot of time on this trip looking for food. It was like we were cavewomen or something.) People kept suggesting a sushi place called Tsunami, but we weren't feeling sushi. When we finally found a good place, the shrimp poboy and fried catfish covered in crawfish ettoufee made our aching shins worth it.

OMG SO DELICIOUS

Then we visited the old captiol building, where a very friendly security guard made me say a naughty word in front of the musuem docent that was taking us to see the capitol's "dungeon." The docent was a nice middle-aged lady who probably was used to wholesome families with little kids, not scared sh*tless (which, coincidentally, is a form of the word I used) potty mouths from Alabama.

Grey before her potty mouth incident in front of the old capitol

Andee and the Victorian Christmas tree

We headed back to the mall area and drove aimlessly around looking for somewhere to go. We vetoed seeing a movie and instead headed into a wonderful place called DSW Shoes...where they had shoes, SHOES, as far as the eye can see!! Seriously, the building was as big as a PetSmart, except instead of squeaky toys, there were SHOES (which, to a dog, is probably the same thing). It was great, but all that shopping made us really tired, so we headed back to the hotel before dinner to watch some Eclipse DVD footage. Then we headed to a wonderful restaurant called the Cheesecake Bistro and stuffed ourselves with more crawfish. And cheesecake.

It was after the trip was over that the words in italics above started to become significant. Because after checking out our very favorite Twilight Baton Rouge website, the Facebook page Twilight Takes Over Baton Rouge, that we discovered that:

a) The Best Buy where we got our Eclipse DVDs? Turns out Rob, Kris and Taylor came in there and bought TVs before filming started. Our cashier told us after we turned down a discounted Bella bracelet at the checkout. Also, a couple of weeks later, some of the cast signed autographs there.

b) While we were in our hotel resting after a day of shopping, Liz Reaser and Nikki Reed were directly across the street from us at the Mall of Louisiana.

c) We vetoed seeing a movie at around 4pm. Which was coincidentally the same time Kellen Lutz was spotted at said movie theater. Oh yeah, and he took pictures with fans.

d) Kona Grill, Wine Loft, Barnes and Noble and Tsunami were all places where the cast has been spotted since our trip. (Hey, we peed in the Barnes and Noble. Maybe we peed in the same place as a Twilight star! I feel more specialer now.)

At least we can say, "Hey! We were there!" Maybe even "Hey! We peed where a Twilight star peed!"

Grey




More pictures from Celtic: