Wait, there are Killer Spiders in Eclipse? What the hell kind of movie is this?

To Eclipe's credit, this blurry image is the very first thing that popped up when Google image searching the word "eclipse". Good work on surpassing the popularity of the naturally occuring phenomenom that has haunted mankind for ages and also that Mitsubishi car that I used to want when I was 16.

This is it---tonight is the night we finally get to lay eyes on Eclipse! It feels just like Christmas Eve, where you know that in just a few hours something AMAZING will arrive!!!! (Jesus? Santa? Eward?) As of right now, the very second this sentence is being typed, we have only....wait.....there's a spider!!!  Hold on, I have to go get a newspaper and kill it. Ok, I'm back.....CRAP, the spider is gone. Great, now there's a killer spider hiding somewhere in my cubicle workspace. That's going to bother me all day...I freaking hate spiders.

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, at this exact second we have 8 hours until we get to see Eclipse!!!!!! Our plan is to meet up at the movie theater at 6pm, initialize our surefire seduction game plan, which is actually just having Andee flash somebody relentlessly pester one poor, unsuspecting usher until he agrees to text us the minute a line starts to form at the movie theater, run to Sam's Club (What the hell? Andee must need massive quanties of Bounty Select-a-Size paper towels), check the line at the movie theater, find a baby shower dress at the mall, check the line at the movie theater, pick up Andee's copy of the Eclipse movie companion, check the line at the movie theater, eat dinner somewhere that serves alcohol because TODAY WE NEED IT (we swear to you that if today was just a regular day and not a super awesome Eclipse premiere day this day would be one of the top five worst days of 2010 and 2010 isn't even halfway over), check the line at the movie theater, walk off the alcohol exploring all the wonders of Target, check the line at the movie theater, run out of things to do while waiting for the movie so actually go to the movie theater, park our booties in folding chairs, pull out the iPod Touch and watch Twilight while waiting for the rest of the Twihards to get there.

Oh yeah, and TWEET YOU GUYS THE WHOLE TIME. Duh.

One more thing....I need to add Kill Killer Spider to the game plan. And I need it to go at the very beginning.

ECLIPSE IS HERE!

If We Had A Cult, KStew Would Be Officially Inducted and We'd Give Her the Kool-Aid, Which Would Probably Have Butter In It.

So the internet is creepy crawly today at Grey's work, so she tweeted that it was being "slow as molassas"....and then had an epiphany that she shared with Andee.

We needed a pic of Kris. Why not use one that has Rob in it? That way we all get more Rob, and isn't that what we all want, really?

On the Eclipse red carpet, Kristen Stewart told a reporter that she is a Food Network junkie. Well, Andee and Grey can't really identify with that, per say. We freaking love food, and we really, REALLY love eating food, but cooking food? No, thank you--hunger is why God invented McDonald's.

This is where a picture should go, but when I googled McDonald's, some pretty anit-McDonald's images came up, and since I'm firmly pro-McNugget, I tried again, using "McDonald's" and "God", but then some really sacrilegious pictures came up, and I'm totally anit-sacrilege, so I said screw it and that's why there's no picture. Grey.

But it was what she said next that made us both drop dead from awesome exposure--Kristen Stewart loves Paula Deen.

Paula Deen, y'all. The Savannah, Georgia Fried Butter Queen herself. The one lady who is regularly discussed at Sunday dinners like she is one of the freaking family, as in:

Aunt J: "My goodness, this butternut squash casserole is delicious!"

G-Mother: "Isn't it, though? It's Paula's!"

...and you always turn to tell Paula how wonderful her casserole is, but she's not there because she's not even related to you and you forgot (I'm currently bowing down to Grey's awesomeness in my office...That.Is.Hilarious*Andee), but you want to tell her how awesome her casserole was anyway so your entire family goes on a pilgrimage to Savannah to eat in her restaurant and wait outside her house (the one that she actually comes out of now) just for a chance to hear that warm, friendly "Well, hey y'all !!" and maybe/possibly be invited to her cooking show and then have something that they can brag about for years and years.

Southern women have every Paula Deen cookbook, even if they don't cook (like at Grey's house). They are a household staple and are necessary to even hold your head up in our small southern towns. Paula Deen is like your momma, y'all, and Kristen Effing Stewart, that laid back chillaxed steezy LA chick gets it. It's like she's Southern, y'all. We can totally claim her now. In fact, she even has a one-up on us in the Southern Gal department--she's an avid baker. She claims to bake a mean pie, and she even baked a mini pie for her EW interviewer!!! @CalliopeBlabs is right--she really is #DomesticStew. (Unless she's actually at home getting baked and that makes her want to actually bake, but that's a whole 'nother topic, y'all.)

UPDATE: KStew is now a firey red-head! She has to change her hair color for "On the Road" and we're hoping that the red hair is just a pit stop before BLONDE STEW returns!!! Not that we don't like Brown Stew or Red Stew, we're just hoping that once she becomes Blonde Stew, she can complete her transformation into a true southern woman by making that final step to Brassy, Burnt Out Bleached Stew.

Another Fabulous Listing by Forks Realty! Twilight Fans Need Not Enquire.

So I've been house hunting for the past month, and it's been nothing but a gigantic pain in my posterior. The small town that we're looking to live in doesn't really have anything that I LOVE on the market, and I wanna really LOVE something if I'm going to pony up my cash and be a home owner.

So I've seen tons of houses--houses made of wood, houses made of brick, houses made of a mixture of the two. (Brood? Wrick?) Forclosed houses, remodeled houses, NOT remodeled houses. I've seen teeny tiny houses with big huge price tags, houses with bright orange rooms dedicated to a college football team, houses that didn't have enough extra bedrooms to house both my extensive wardrobe and my equally extensive Twilight memorabilia collection. I've seen houses that had pets but you couldn't tell, houses that had pets and you COULD tell because the house smelled like dogs and oh, wait, the dogs are in kennels in one of the guest bedrooms and the weiner dog is growling at me and I HATE weiner dogs (well, only the red ones) because my grandparents had an evil red one named Rusty whose sole mission on this earth was to kill me as a child, houses that were locked when we got there so we had to peek into the windows and maybe we leaned too hard on one of them because it fell out of its frame and into the house so we thought "What the hell, we might as well go in now."

So you could say that I have houses on the brain. (Go ahead, say it if you want. Out loud, even, if you are so inclined.) So when I saw all the scanned pictures from the Eclipse Movie Guide, which one do you think I took a second look at? Was it Edward and Jacob talking in the tent? The Jacob/Bella kiss? Alice and Jasper making out?

No, it was this one:

(Ok, fine. I really looked at all the pictures that had Rob in them first. But then I looked at this one.)

My keen house-hunting eye was drawn to the picture of Edward's bedroom, with it's brand new addition--a big ass bed for getting it on to make out on. And it made me think--what if, when it's time for the Cullen clan to leave Forks, they decided to put the house up for sale and I was the buyer looking at Edward's old room?

It makes sense--instead of letting the house sit there in the middle of the woods empty and alone, why not let some other nice family enjoy it? I mean, yes, the Cullens could just come back to it in 100 years and restoring it would give Esme something to do, but she's already restored this house once, y'all. Give her a break.

First off, if I were viewing this room, the realtor would be super pissed at me later when she found out that there's no way I could afford this house and I was completely wasting her time. Also because I probably cut out a piece of Edward's carpet when she wasn't looking and stuffed it into my purse. (Later at home, I will take it out of my purse and smell it.)

Then I would be all, "Wait, this isn't Edward's room." And she'd be all, "Well, of course it is. Don't you see the door to nowhere?" And I'd be all, "Yes, and we'll get to that later, but don't tell me this is Edward's room. I KNOW Edward's room, and this isn't it." And she'd be all like, "What's wrong with you?" and I would tell her that nobody knows but then show her this:

(I can't remember where I stole this from. I do that all the time. I swear I'm not a bad person...I don't mean to take other people's things. If you are the person I stole this from, please give me a very harsh verbal dressing-down.)

Clearly, the Eclipse set crew has made some changes to Edward's room since Twilight. One being that they seemed to have repainted and replaced the carpet. I can't say that I blame them--blue tinted walls and carpet? Hello? (You have just experienced a bad joke based on the fact that the entire movie Twilight was tinted blue. I didn't really mind the blue tint, I was just trying to be funny. Key word there--trying.) The biggest addition though, is the extra space added to the bookshelf wall to fit that big ass love bed.

I would smile triumphantly at my realty lady as she admits I'm right.

Then the realty lady would sigh in a very over-dramatic, exhasperated way. And that's when I would bring up the door.

The door leading to nowhere. A metaphor, perhaps, by a quirky architect? An obvious child hazard? A way to trick birds into your room? (Who would want to do that??) OR.....a perfect opportunity for Catherine Hardwick to have Edward fling Bella onto his back and climb trees while uttering nonsense about spider monkeys?

The realty lady would probably lean towards the metaphor aspect of the door.

I would just tell her to lean more towards the door. If I pushed her out, she may not notice that big hole in the carpet.

Grey

If Forks and Spoons Do It, Is It Called Sporking?

I love romance as much as the next girl, but I've really never been into...you know, porn. Obviously I've seen it, but I don't have a collection or anything. So I'm a little concerned about this apparent Eating Utensil fetish I've picked up. *Ashamed* Yes it's true. I'm hooked--fork on fork, spoon on spoon, even spoon on knife! It's totally hot.

But fork on spoon? That is a little too much for me. Don't they realize that their union could result in the unholy creation of a spork, that White Plastic Cafeteria Staple from Hell? I would rather stare straight down Victoria's throat while she's eating my face than have to use a freaking spork ever again. (Worst case scenario to use a spork? Eating spaghetti. It. Is. IMPOSSIBLE.)

Anyway, on to something different and totally unrelated.

Our bloggy heroes UC and Moon from Letters to Twilight/Rob got to meet Stephenie Meyer on Friday and today they had a terrific post. Seriously, it's like they wrote it just to make other Twilight blogs that may not be as cool or as famous or have as many hits as them totally jealous really good. The biggest thing they could share in the post was that Meyer reads LTT like, everyday. How cool is that? The woman whose fantasical dream became the reason that I am sitting at work, not working but instead typing this very sentence reads one of my favorite fansites. I wonder if she's ever commented and what alias she used.

PaNcHoLuVer1994

It was while telling Andee about Stephenie reading LTT everyday that she shared with me this glorious revelation:

If Stephenie Meyer reads LTT every day, then it stands to reason that she read LTT on March 30, 2010 when this post appeared. And IF Stephenie Meyer, reading LTT like she does every day, saw the "read this if you love NSYNC" link and clicked it because she did indeed have a mighty love for all things NSYNC...

....she would have been taken directly to OUR SITE and our thrilling expose' on how Edward Cullen spent the late 90's/early 00's as a boy band member, all of which means.....

STEPHENIE MEYER MAYBE, POSSIBLY, COULD HAVE VISITED OUR WEBSITE.

Oh my gah.

This is huge for me. HUUUUUUUUGE. The Woman Who Created Edward Cullen maybe possibly visited our site. Sure, she probably accidently clicked the link while she was trying to scroll down to the comments section of LTT's post, but for the brief split-second it took for her to press the "Back" button, she may have been here. I had the Anxiety Tickle Monsters inside my chest this morning, but as soon as Andee revealed this possibility, however unlikely it was that she would have clicked away from LTT because of an all-consuming lust for NSYNC material, the tickling stopped and instead I felt AWESOME.

So I just want to say "Thank You" to LTT for linking to us and to Edward Cullen for wearing that hideous black denim jacket. You created a 10% chance that Steph visited Welcome to Forks, Y'all and stopped the evil tickle monsters.

Hearts and Rainbows and HI, STEPHENIE MEYER!!!,

Grey

P.S. Holy crap. I just realized that The Mother of All Things Twilight may have possibly visited our blog, which is full of things like forks and spoons having sex with each other.

*anxious tickeling begins again*

Spoon and Fork Spam

Oh hello, fork and spoon that are making out on a napkin  white beach blanket on the khaki shores of Hawii.

How can you make Twilight any better? Add shopping.

What is missing in this picture?

Exactly. Where is our Eclipse Team Edward cup to hold all our writing utensils? Where is our Confederate Soldier Jasper mousepad? WHERE IS OUR POCKET N*SYNC EDWARD TO STAND BY OUR COMPUTER MONITOR AND STARE AT US ALL DAY?

It really feels like we haven't been saturated in Eclipse Twicrap this go-around. And that makes us sad, because we love buying Twicrap that we have absolutely no use for but it makes us feel happy that we own it. The only Eclipse merch we've seen so far are posters at Wal-Mart! Even when Andee searched for Eclipse, this turned up:

Apparently there is a dude in there named Eclipse. Damn you, non-canon Star Wars character.

So we decided to go find Eclipse stuff for ourselves online. Here are some of the things we will not be able to live without this Twilight season (serious sarcasm included):

The Team Edward Locket, so that we can always have two photos of Edward close to our hearts. And lips--you know, for those impulsive kisses all throughout the day.

What our office cubicle/closet really needs: a set of Edward pens. Our writing will definitely be more emo from now on.

From "pens" to "pins", we really want these. When we were in high school, our parents used to wear their child's cheerleader/football picture button to the games to show support (and probably to brag that their son/daughter was a football player/cheerleader). We want to show our support for our favorite not real people when we go to see Eclipse in 13 days.

Pocket J.C. Chasez Eclipse Edward!

Life Size Eclipse Edward will come in handy when we have to re-enact all those soundtrack songs that we effed up in our predictions. We've always wanted to dance with Edward!

And finally, the most wonderous Eclipse item ever created:

The sleeveless button up. Stephenie Meyer personally authorized this herself, and Nordstrom was happy to oblige.

Do you guys have any Eclipse stuff yet? We think we can squeeze a couple of these into our secret Twilight cabinets at home!

Madames Andee and Grey will predict your future, but it probably won't be right. So yes, we will refund your $2.99 for the first minute, plus $0.99 for each additional minute.

It's time for the second half of Andee and Grey's Eclipse Soundtrack Predictions! And this time, we have a little incentive to make sure that we end up having to do something really embarrassing because there's no way we are getting any of these right are doing are very best creative thinking and getting those songs in their correct places!

So we will start with Song Number 9, Let's Get Lost. We are admittedly a little lost ourselves on this one. It's got this totally 80's feel to it, and we really need to know which 80's song it sounds like. So please go listen to it and let us know, because Grey is going crazy. The only place we can think of to place it is Sexy Make-Out Scene/Leg Hitch, but we really hope not, because while we want our Leg Hitch super hot and steamy, we do not want it porny. Just sayin'.

Song Number 10, Jonathon Low. We're cheating here, because we saw the clip of the wolves teasing Jacob about Bella finally coming back around, and this song is playing in the background. Yes, yes, cheaters never prosper. We know.

Song Number 11, With You In My Head. It's a little creepy, so we thought "bad vamps" immediately. However, we would like to give this song to a less recognized group of bad vamps and say that this song belongs with Jasper's Backstory.

Song Number 12, A Million Miles An Hour we also gave to the bad vamps, either when they're screwing with Seattle or when they are on their way to the Cullens. Newborn Destruction it is.

Song Number 13, Life On Earth is a hard one, but we'll have to go with Bella Reflecting On Becoming a Vampire.

Song Number 14, What Part of Forever. We had to think a little bit before placing this one, but we decided to give it to the Humans. Bella Hanging With Her Friends.

*Sample G-Talk convo about What Part of Forever*

Grey: ok so what part of forever is a high school song? did you have another suggestion?

Andee: no it seems logical there..but of course its probs wrong! :)

Grey: oh, of course, that goes without saying

Song Number 15, Jacob's Song. We are going to go out on a limb here and say that it definitely has Something To Do With Jacob, like maybe when he overhears about Bella and Edward's engagement, or when he is hurt. Or anytime he is on screen. Yeah, that should cover us.

Song Number 16, The Line (Bonus) is an action-packed song, so we're going to place it when the Cullens Train for the Newborn Fight. We say this because we've seen the clip of the Cullens chasing Victoria while Bella is in Florida and it has some weird music in there. We also think the actual newborn battle will be instrumental and epic. This song is like how Supermassive Black Hole went with vampire basebacll. It's got some fun in it's kickass-ness.

Song Number 17, How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep (Bonus), also known as the song that Grey first thought was titled just How Can You Swallow So Much and declared it the Most Epically Awkward Sexual Reference in a Young Adult Movie's Soundtrack EVER. Until she realized that her iPod wasn't showing the entire title. And we have no idea where this song will go, so we pass.

We're stopping there, even though there are still two more remixed songs on our deluxe album. The remix of Atlas would sound really good as Native American drums, though.

But since you guys were so nice to let us predict the soundtrack even though we promised you we wouldn't, we want to make this fun for you. So for every soundtrack song we have tragically misplaced here, Andee and Grey will upload a Youtube video that either a) act out the correct scene the song was in, b) act out our incorrect scene, or c) do an awesome dance to the song. It will be up to our discrection whether it's A, B, or C, but it will always be E.......for embarrassing.

We are super excited about this, and we'll make another prediction! (Good gah, it's like gambling, we're addicted!) We predict that we'll probably be making 17 videos! We hope you enjoy every one of them.

We Have No Will Power or Self-Control. Sadly, Diets Don't Work, But Thank God We Never Tried Hard Drugs.

Forkheads, we just couldn't help ourselves. After endless listens in the car and concerts in the shower, we have succumbed to the temptation to try to place the Eclipse soundtracks songs in the movie, even after the utter FAIL that was New Moon soundtrack guessing game. We will never forget the embarrassment of the suggestion that Lykke Li's "Possibility" was playing when Bella first sees Jacob as a potential love interest for real, while in reality it is the themesong of Bella's utter devastation and depression after Edward leaves. Obviously, we lack the subtle nuances that are required to accurately and creatively place the Twilight Saga songs in their proper places.

But we're going to do it again anyway. What the hell, right?

****Spoiler Alert!!!*****
We've actually read the leaked Eclipse script and heard that it's pretty much the same as the movie thru other Twitter folk, so you may find a couple of mini spoilers in here.

Andee and Grey Embarrass Themselves Over the Eclipse Soundtrack

Andee: first song... Eclipse (all Yours), this feels like the song on the credits, or opening, what you thinking?

Grey: it's like bella's anthem, the whole song is sung from bella's point of view, so i thought...right at the end leading into the credits MAYBE, and i say that because...the end is actually cute, not overly romantic
because she says they have to do the most dangerous part of all, tell charlie, HOWEVER, i think it is very important what she says before that, so i think there will be fancy romantic music while she explains how his world is the only place she's felt at home and then will transistion into this song, this is where i choose to place it

Andee: i'll agree with you *Grey: Probably just to shut me up!*

Eclipse (All Yours)--at the end/beginning of the credits

Grey: song number two: neutron star collision (love is forever)/longest title name in the known universe

Andee: and its kinda corny sounding...i have no clue about this one

Grey: i thought it would be a credits song

Andee: mayb so cause i can't think of anything logical

Neutron Star Destroyer Collision With the Millenium Falcon (Love is Forever)--during the credits

Andee: song number three--ours...? i like that one alot

Grey: definitely at graduation or the party

Andee: PERFECT!

Grey:  i know, i know BUT REMEMBER

Andee: don't get dissapointed right?

Grey: we think we're so good at this, and we turn out to be SO BAD

Ours--graduation/party

Andee: okay next? Song number four-- Heavy in your Arms

Grey:  i have no idea where this song will go, and it's so awesome that i dare not speculate for fear of placing it in an inferior scene than the one it truly belongs in (that sentence made me giggle)

Andee: i feel like its going to be in a serious scene

Grey: yes, and i feel like it's a scene where she puts a hard choice on edward, or a scene that is stressful for edward

Andee:: mayb when she talks to him after she kisses jacob or when jacob gets hurt, tell me your theories

Grey: ok ok ok, heavy in your arms--the very literal place it could be is when they are getting ready for battle and jacob is carrying bella to the campsite and edward is waiting, looking out from the top of the mountain, but that is tooooo easy, and i won't fall in that trap again, but just in case, i will say that if i had to choose a time (and i don't want to have to), it would be somewhere related to the tent scene, including the leading up to the tent and the after the tent *Grey: I'm pretty sure I just fell into the trap.*

Heavy In Your Arms--leading up to the tent/tent/after the tent

Andee: song number five: my love

Grey: now, at first thought i said my love was definitely the proposal scene, because it was touching and all lovey-dovey, but then i thought it was so sad, and there's this one part that's towards the end, when the violin really gets going, and i thought, "it's SAD, like when bella kisses jacob, and she see's her future with him and she starts kissing him back but then realizes that it's not right, it's not what is for her"

Andee: hmmm good imagination grey. did you read the eclipse script again?

Grey: no, i haven't read it again lately, but i've read it since you gave it back to me

Andee: oh i thought mayb you had b/c u seem to remember so much *Grey: Andee's polite way of telling me I'm a KNOW IT ALL*

Grey: nope, i'm just AWESOME

My Love--Proposal or Bella/Jacob Kiss

Andee: song number six: atlas

Grey: NO CLUE, but i bet it's wolves

Andee: yea it sounds like a bunchy of dorky werewolves hanging out or something

Grey: i agree, plus the bonus track of the atlas remix has way more drum beats in it, like tribal or something. but it could also be bella in florida

Atlas--Wolves Being Chill or Florida

Grey: song number seven: chop and change, i thought it may be rosalie killing her fiance

Andee: yea...i can see her in the wedding dress

Grey: what's half of 17, 8? *Grey: What a math genius I am...* we need to get to eight

Chop and Change--Rosalie's Flashback

Grey: song number eight: rolling in on a burning tire

Andee: BAD VAMPS

Grey: That one was easy!

Rolling in on a Buring Tire--Bad Vamps



We'll be back tomorrow with the conclusion of our Eclipse soundtrack embarrassing predictions, and there may be a little wager involved to see how many we actually get right! Which Eclipse songs are your favorites? I think Heavy is obviously one of ours!

It's Getting Hot in Here, So Take Off All Your Clothes. I'm Just Kidding. You Can Leave Your Clothes On. Unless You Don't Want To. Whatever, I'm Cool.

Shut your filthy mouth, it is hot down here. I have lots of analogies for how hot it is, but I saw "hotter'n two rats screwin' in a wool sock" on Facebook today, so I'll go with that one. I don't know if it's an originally Southern phrase, but if you drop a couple vowels, it can be adapted.

Yesterday was the day that my car decided not to crank. It was also the day my fiance' decided to be an ass, but hey...that can happen any day and doesn't necessarily coincide with car troubles. The Honda dealership suggested that I "firmly tap" some vague, phantom spot on my dash, which in my frustration may have ended up being "kicked repeated while cursed at" instead of "firmly tapped." Whoops.

What I needed was the most devastatingly beautiful vampire in existance. And I don't mean Edward.

I mean Rosalie.

Rosalie Hale: Auto Mechanic

Yes, favorite frosty bitch that she is, what I really needed yesterday was Rosalie Hale under my car, and I don't mean that I was so mad and frustrated that I wanted to run her over. I needed her super awesome mechanical skillz, yo. I don't ask her for many favors, and I pretty much leave her alone on this blog. I try not to mention how fugs her New Moon wig was, or how those jeans from the Twilight cafeteria scene are not flattering from the back at all. You know, cause I don't want to offend her--the last thing I would ever want to do is to come face to face with an angry Rosalie Hale, if coming face to face with a "real" fictional character and not her actor counterpart were possible. Come to mention it, coming face to face with Nikki Reed might be a little scary, too.

Grrr...like a tiger.

But if she could have just taken a look at my car, that would have been great. I would have ignored the impatient, condesending snorts, sighs and icy stares. I would have stayed out of her way, unless she needed me to hand her a socket wrench or something. And most importantly, I would have always remembered to say, "Yes, ma'am, Miss Rosalie, ma'am" anytime she asked me ANYTHING, even if the question was "Are you stupid or something?"

And maybe that withering, cold stare I would have gotten in response would have helped cool me off a little.

Grey

*Extra Funny for Today*

Flash Back....

Thought it would be fun to post an old email between Grey and I way before New Moon came out in theatres (way before this blog), while we PATIENTLY wait for Eclipse to come out....

Andee: Do you know that I can't stop thinking that I would LOVE to be this CATERER woman that got a call from Rob....I kinda wish I was her ALL THE TIME....isn't that sad?

Caterers...cute...but I'm pissed!

Grey: What I want to know is why the heck would Rob call the caterer? I mean, I’m sure the cupcakes were delicious, but he couldn’t tell them that at the party? AND WHY DID HE HAVE HER PHONE NUMBER?
Grey: We are about to get bombarded with Twilight stuff…it’s going to be INSANE! Only 37 more days until New Moon!!! KStew is going to be in Allure, Seventeen, Rob and KStew in Harpers Bazaar, KStew, Rob, and Taylor on Entertainment Weekly…I can’t wait!!! I am trying to find out when the Harpers Bazaar comes out—remember, that was the magazine where people said that they were going to “come out” as a couple!!!! Crazy Robsten rumors!! I love it! Ok, I read it was the December issue, which should mean it comes out in November. Really excited!

Andee: I know I really want to see that Harpars Bazaar and the EW!!!

Grey: This is one of my favorite New Moon pics so far of Edward. I like that emo look. Don’t get me wrong, I love the suits, too, but this is the emo kid I fell in love with. By the way, I bought another plaid shirt yesterday. But it’s red, so it’s at least bright. But it’s still plaid. Yep, I love rocking the plaid.

Andee: This is old rob...i like it better than his new old man clothes

Grey: And there are so many videos to watch online, but I can’t because I hate turning the volume up at work!! Grrr! I will have to watch them at home! I really need to watch the one where he’s on the show with the muppets! If you watch it, let me know if it’s awesome.

Andee: What new videos besides the muppets one?

Grey: And I need to visit the New Moon website and look at the Volturi Estate! I think I will do that now…hold on. Ok, it was pretty cool. Go visit!! I think I’m going to love Aro and Caius, but Marcus just looks weird to me. All the time.

Andee: Visited it...its pretty cool!

Grey: The more I hear about the movie “How to Be,” the more I need to see it—really, REALLY need to see it. When the quotes are “I have an erection,” and Girlfriend: “Are you lying to me?” Rob: laughs “No…a little,” you know it’s going to be funny! Plus, that video we watched was hilarious! Rob: “Are you going to my show?” Parents: “No.” Sweet.

Andee: Let me borrow it when you buy it :)

Grey: And I cannot wait to see Remember Me…the script was leaked, and I haven’t read it, but people have left clues and makes me think it’s sad. What if he dies? What if they help each other, fall in love, but don’t end up together? I think it’s going to be great! It opens on Valentine’s Day, I think?

Andee: Wanna see it too!

Grey: AHHHH! You can listen to the album on Myspace? What? I can’t listen to it!!! I am at work!!!!!!! OH NOZE!!!! I am super, super pissed. Guess what I’ll be doing at home? Chilling out to the New Moon soundtrack. For certain. Let me know how it is if you listen to it!

Andee: I can't hardly do anything with the music yet b/c I don't want to TORTURE my co-worker!

Grey: TODAY IS AN AWESOME TWILIGHT DAY!...Something is ringing in our office. It doesn’t sound like any of our phones. What the hell is ringing in my office?

Andee: God's calling you home...its the trumpet :)

Grey: “God’s calling you home. It’s the trumpet.” ...I will remember that forever, Jamie Lynn. I read that and giggled silently. Which really means I just grinned really big and in my mind, thought “HAHAHAHeeheheheHAHAHA!” Then I wanted to go and tell someone about it, because I thought it was so funny. But realized that nobody would get it, because they weren’t at my house the night that you thought that Jesus had called my mother home and we were “left behind.”...Maybe there weren’t that many videos, but I thought there were a few on Robsessed and Twicrack. Maybe more on Robsessed.....You don’t have earplugs? I may bring my earphones to work and listen to the soundtrack on Myspace. I need some New Moon. I CANNOT wait until November 20th. I am so ready, and I already have plans to go watch it again on Sunday. I will drag my Mom and Aunt, but even if they don’t go, I am going. My personal highest number of times I have seen a movie in a movie theater is only 2 and that was for X3. I went with the fiance, then went again with the Aunt. So I will be topping my personal best this year. ...I’m so pissed right now, because it’s supposed to be cool outside. And it has been cool outside, but I went outside to our parking lot because they were dedicating the country music mural that is painted on the side of our building, and the freaking sun came out. Now my boobs are sweating, and I can’t do anything about it because I can’t take my top off at work. Oh, and I’m starving because I haven’t gone to lunch yet. But that’s where I’m heading now.

Toodles!

BTW...Miss you Grey...hope your having fun on your work trip AND hope your not mad about me posting the "sweaty boobs" comment...but you all talk about my boobs all the time anyway, so it's kinda pay back :)

Guess who got to watch the MTV Movie Awards....

And guess who did'nt....Ha, Sorry Grey! I was originally going to post this yesterday, but it was a holiday for me...what holiday you ask?Jefferson Davis's Birthday...Yea the State of Alabama TOTALLY gives us that holiday...I did try to keep Grey updated Sunday night (in between the OMG's and Holy Craps)! She got more info off of twitter than she did out of me, because I was GLUED to the t.v. Just wanted to share one of my FAVORITE Holy Crap moments...

We one this award again, yo!

He's so cute I could just squeeze him, you know whata mean?

I like to tease him a little bit too!

Ooo-la-la!!!

Almost there....

Then BOOM! Cock block...sorry Rob!

It's okay KStew...I'll get you later! ;)

New Baby Cousin = Another Future Forkhead

Funny story and not Twilight related at all, but of course, I ignore that and make it Twilight related anyway.

My New Baby Cousin was born yesterday. Her name is Mahayla. It sounds like Michaela, but with a "hay" instead. Here, like this:

Yes, it's a mouthful at first, but it gets easier every time. (That is not what she said. I could never do a twss joke about my New Baby Cousin's name. Oh crap, I just did one.)

My three-year-old cousin, Julia, does a good job correctly pronouncing her words, but apparently Mahayla wasn't a word she was willing to try out. Because when Julia's mother told her about New Baby Cousin Mahayla, Julia just looked at her dubiously and said:

"I will call she Charlie."

And this was all I could think about:

Yes, I did. I just put a copstache on my New Baby Cousin. It was too easy. Even her little monitor sticker looks like a gold heart-shaped badge.

I really hope my family never finds this blog.

Grey

Test, test!

Since I'm going to be out of town at a work conference with no computer Sunday thru

Wednesday, thereby MISSING the MTV Movie Awards, I decided to get Blogpress on my iPod Touch so that I can blog while I'm in Chattanooga. I'm sure you all are looking forward to the rambling, hate-filled, vitriol-spewed post I will write as I sit staring at your tweets of how EPIC it was.

Just kidding.

Sorta.




Just testing the photo upload thingy. I'm sure Daniel Cudmore doesn't mind being used.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Cullen Insurance--Coverage Guaranteed to Last Several Lifetimes

So even with Eclipse craziness beginning, I spent this weekend in a relatively Twilight-Free zone. That was not of my own choosing, of course--I would never voluntarily pull out the Twi-V that deposits stimulating Twilight goodness directly into my veins. But with house hunting and visiting my Grandma at the beach, (i.e., spending all weekend with the fiance and the parentals), the Twi-V bag was dangerously low.

I was afraid that it would be a Twi-Free weekend after all, until I saw this:

And all I could think was "How sad..." Because Edward Cullen is frozen in time as a 17-year-old and will never be able to fufill his dream of becoming a small time insurance agent in a Florida Panhandle town (that is not even on the beach, it's on the bay. Panama City and Panama City Beach are two different animals. The more you know...)

Edward Cullen, Insurance Agent. It was a sweet dream....that can never come true. Sad face times infinity.

"So, a full coverage policy, correct? No? A no coverage policy? I'm afraid I don't....quite.......ohhhhhh."

In happier news--People, Eclipse is coming out in less than 30 days! IT'S HERE!!! We have waited impatiently and now IT'S HERE! *Does an impromptu "It's Here!" dance in my cubicle* Unfortunately, I will be out of town when all the good stuff goes down this weekend. Yes, I will miss the MTV awards. *Stops impromptu dancing and begins impromptu sobbing* Thank goodness for the iPod Touch and Youtube, or I might cancel this conference trip outright. You Twitter people will have to keep me informed and up to date on the COMPLETE AWESOMENESS that is certain to be the MTV Awards.

And if Rob should happen to announce that after the Twilight movies, he is officially retiring from acting to open his own insurance agency, don't blame me. It's not my fault he reads this blog and is highly suggestable.

Rob...come to Dothan. Find Grey. Kiss her.

Kiss her good.

Hugs and Kisses and ECLIPSE, baby!

Grey